Comment by lejalv
6 hours ago
For OP's calibration since he is working on “that problem”
> A younger version of myself felt guilty at disliking reading scientific papers. Then I realized I just didn’t want to be a scientist, and stopped caring. (Also, I realized that nobody really enjoys it, so it’s kind of a moot point; when I realized this I tried to solve the problem for everybody, and now work for a startup that is making real progress against this problem.)
(my emphasis)
I did enjoy reading papers, a lot. I wish I had had more time for it. I don't think your mental model is substantiated.
I also have problems reading math, even though I work in a math heavy field. I have no problem with actually understanding math, just with forcing myself to read the symbols.
My problem stems from being very good at speedreading, being hyperlexic, and since I was a kid I devour books very fast, and I cannot transfer that skill completely to math and this disappoints me.
I know very good mathematicians who have problems reading both literature and math, and because there is no discrepancy, they don't experience it in a "I hate math" way as I do.
I actually managed to apply my "superpower" by reading a lot of what smart people say about math (e.g. introductions to papers, long mathoverflow answers, blog posts) and thus I internalized a lot of math thinking processes without actually doing the work (I know people say "there is no royal road to geometry" but for me it worked).
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Upon reading I felt identified (hyperlexic having trouble reading math as if it was prose). I still tell myself “I like math”. But it's true that when I think of “doing math”, I envision a study situation with the stressors removed.
I also had a similar experience with meta readings, funny.