Comment by Nition

I really liked it and all the little interesting ideas within it, like the antimimetic worms that live everywhere. I actually found it very creative and clever. However, I didn't think the recent rewrite was as much of an improvement as others seem to. The later parts were improved but I thought some of the padding out of earlier parts arguably came out worse.

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Edit:

To give an actual example, Marion's description in the original, from the scene in the video:

She is turning fifty this year and slowly greying, well on her way out of "petite" towards "little old lady".

In the updated edition:

She turns fifty this year. She is diminutive and flint-eyed, very dark-haired but rapidly greying. Today, her hair is strictly pulled back and up into a silver clasp. She wore her good suit for this, one button, very dark grey, with a solid blue blouse underneath. Ankle boots with stout heels, two silver stud earrings in each lobe. Contact lenses, not the usual glasses. On a lanyard around her neck she wears a security pass with a bright orange and red diagonal stripe.

Two uses of 'very dark' right after each other? And I actually liked how snappy the original was but that might be just me.

Another line in this first chapter that I love from the original:

"What…" O5-8 asks carefully, "would happen if we did know?"

becomes in the new edition:

"What…" Mahlo asks carefully, "would happen if we did know what happened to him?"

Why pad that out? It sounds less natural now.