Comment by rincebrain

I have been in or next to a number of social circles with such missing stairs, where for various reasons people in the groups have decided to not directly acknowledge certain Facts that are known about some members, because it would involve them confronting their hypocrisy.

Someone cheating regularly on their partner, flagrant substance use problems, controlling people who ostracize anyone who doesn't agree with their sometimes insane perspectives...

People will go along with quite a lot to avoid friction, especially as they get older and picking up new social circles becomes higher cost.

It's possibly the most telling thing, when you see what people say is a hard line versus how they actually respond to it.