Comment by xerox13ster

I drink, sugar-free Red Bull and monster ultra.

They are consistent. They are cold. They are fast.

There is none of the variation that you have in a single cup of coffee.

The preparation process is pulling a tab. No French press, no aero press, no coffee maker, scale, grinder, bags.

They don’t warm me up, I don’t have to cool them down.

I can carry them with me and drink them when I feel like drinking them without needing to worry about them leaking.

They don’t stain clothes. Or teeth (but they do eat them)

They lack the biological enzyme that coffee has that causes you to rush to the toilet. Any bowel effect is purely from the caffeine and not the passengers that come along in coffee.

I like the colors and designs.

I don’t have to feel like I’m participating in massive Third World exploitation to enjoy caffeine.

Black coffee tastes bad, so it requires milk and sugar, but I like to avoid drinking my calories.

The powdered fast stuff taste like shit.

You never know what beans public places are using and if you’re even getting enough caffeine for your needs.

<jk> Coffee doesn’t give you wings. </jk>