Comment by bgilroy26
5 hours ago
Once you've made it this far, the new spectrum everyone is measured on is their magnanimity.
It's okay that you didn't turn out to be that magnanimous, but don't lie to yourself and pretend that you tried as hard as you could
You had more in your humanity tank than you knew you had
Is everyone really measured on their magnanimity? We all pick our metrics to feel like we’re winning or losing.
It's not that I'm not magnanimous.
I've got lots in the humanity tank.
I just reserve the right to speak honestly, and I'm also willing to have my mind changed. Lots of hypocritical assholes are magnanimous as a gesture. I'll spend 2 hours telling a homeless guy he's not Jesus and he's ruining his life and try to find him a job. I did that a couple nights ago. But that isn't magnanimity, fuck no. It's some kind of sheer Dostoevskyan desire to see humanity in everyone I meet because the token value of mine is only as good as theirs. That's how I define morality. Magnanimity can go to hell.
It's funny you should turn the conversation to literature
I felt very seen when I read this story of Nathaniel Hawthorne's https://www.classicshorts.com/stories/ebrand.html
It's about a man who left home on a journey because something was bothering him and he didn't stop investigating until he figured out what it was.
It turned out (spoilers!) that he regarded his fellow men at an arm's length. He saw himself apart
I am of that kind and it causes me great pain. If I'm reading you right it seems you feel yourself in the thick of it with everyone. I hope you do not take that feeling for granted