Comment by Brajeshwar
6 hours ago
LOL! My bosses used to tell me that I need to learn to be more `rude` and not just do what others says because I can. I have learnt a lot and one of the biggest is to say NO, in big Uppercase—I can do anything for work but I won’t do that, NO, I won’t do that.
Sometime, I still do and I like the fun and thrill of locking in a hotel room after a meeting and coming out in lot less days these days (pppppsssstt, because of AI) and get into the next meeting showing off what can be done that was discussed 48 hours ago.
You don't do these things because they benefit your boss. (They might happen to, but that's not the point.)
You do them because they benefit you.
Not going to benefit you? There's lots of ways to say no to a back-channel request. Not a back-channel request? Then I guess it's not someone else's job!
Easier said than done. Saying no is not so easy. There's a bit of a weird dynamic that if you could do something that others need help with, saying no can be considered rude, but saying (even if lying) that you don't know how to do it is generally accepted. Usually a boss (or even a colleague) backing in saying no helps a lot.
Also the helping can cause escalation of "demand". First you help with something quick and easy for you, but soon you find "owning" more and more of the task.
It's not dissimilar from the entitled people in open source project bug trackers.
There is also the lowercase no, where you say you'd love to do things, but that it has to go through proper channels and get on the roadmap.
Nice reference