Comment by antonvs

It might contain your thoughts, but the writing definitely needs work.

With code, people often think just getting it to run correctly is enough (which is often wrong, but that's another discussion.) With writing, the success criteria are more complex.

Even just the first sentence is unnecessarily cryptic, with inconsistent grammar. For example, the parenthetical clause, "the telegraph operators' compressed dialect," is surrounded by an em-dash and a comma. It should be the same character on each side.

One issue you may be having is forgetting that readers don't have all the context about your task that you have in your mind. Writing maximally concisely, which seems to be what you or the model were going for, means that readers have to try to reconstruct that context. Presumably you weren't trying to write the article itself in telegraphic style.

Here's a possible rewrite of that first sentence:

> When LLMs are instructed to answer in "cablese"—the compressed dialect historically used by telegraph operators—models produce 40-49% fewer billable output tokens through the API. Despite this compression, models from all four tested model families still recover the information at full fidelity.

The original "Instructed to answer" formulation is known as a compressed participial construction. It's grammatically valid, but overly concise for the first sentence of an article. Being explicit about what's being instructed helps the reader avoid having to read the whole sentence before determining what its subject is.

The ", and" pattern is something I often catch myself using, but it's often better to break up the sentence instead, and that's certainly true in this case. It also makes it easier to call out the result you're describing more explicitly, with "Despite this compression".

The "elicit ... on the API's meter" is just a very weird construction, and does sound quite Claudish. I doubt "elicit" is the correct word here. A prompt elicits a response from a model, but the model itself doesn't "elicit" anything when responding to a prompt.

If you want to improve your writing, I recommend reading. Not just non-fiction - reading fiction can be a great way to improve your writing skills. It trains your brain in what's correct, essentially - assuming what you're reading is well-written!