Comment by bryanrasmussen
5 days ago
someone else's experience as black.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=50100397
I knew a good number of gay people, and I don't think they had it particularly easy.
As a punk rocker I was always having to fight because of how I looked, but I guess that is just for being an asshole who did not look enough like other people. Again, if you fit into Utah, it is probably a really nice place. This is probably the case about almost anywhere though.
on edit: obviously I might have had the same experiences and noticed the same experiences somewhere else. I was in Eugene Oregon from 13 to 15, Utah from 15 to mid twenties, San Francisco a couple of years, Utah, and then returned to Denmark. The only place I ever experienced assholes every time I went out was Utah, until Denmark and having a disabled child that didn't "look" disabled.
But maybe if I had lived on the East coast I would have the same observation, that you can go out all the time and meet assholes and it isn't your fault , and the implication that it is your fault is really implying that you need to change your skin color or gender preferences and you'll stop being "the asshole", which is a pretty fucked up opinion to be conveying in the nice pithy aphorism.
> Again, if you fit into Utah, it is probably a really nice place.
Yes, but I don't think skin color standing alone prevents you from "fitting into Utah." I think of people in Utah as being warmer and nicer than people in Astoria, Oregon, where my mother-in-law lives. My brother-in-law grew up in Astoria and he’s black presenting (more Samoan and asian but with the textured hair) and he fit in really well and was popular in school, despite having all white friends. When I go to Astoria, nobody is mean or racist, but my experience in Utah was definitely that people were warmer. (Note that Astoria is politically similar to Salt Lake County, that is blue leaning, but not liberal by any means.)
> he had big dreadlocks and I guess looked alternative
How does he know that it was because he was black and not because he "looked alternative?" I look like brown Ned Flanders and the only time I've ever gotten stares (in the US) is from other brown people in southern towns where I'm like the only other one. And I'm not oblivious to it--I'm certainly aware of the airport people in Japan following me around like a potential terrorist.
I trust your friend had the experience he had. But I also think it’s important to be precise about the standard you’re applying when you accuse places of being racist. If you assume people have an obligation to disregard differences not only in skin color, but how they express themselves or present their identity, then fine, but be explicit about that assumption. Because not everyone agrees that’s the standard.