Comment by wafflemaker

It's not deep enough not to be read together with initial post:

I went through different kinds of methylphenidate delivery. First with Ritalin MR 20mg (mod release) analog - methylphenidate Teva MR. If I'm not wrong, it's 50% instant, 50% after 3 or 6 hours? I asked for just 10mg, because friend told me they'll start me on 20 or 30 and it's better to go lower. That was a little strong, but let me experience the "calm" effect for once. Tried Concerta 18m, who have their own way to slowly release mph over multiple hours. But in addition to "robot like" feeling, it was still a little too strong, super dependant on eating enough with the pill, and after few weeks started metabolizing way too fast, with a crash after just 5 hours IIRC. I was also having a hell of a time from doing too high for me doses of stimulants for few months.

And mph hates coffee. I have a funny story - was once on a friend's child's birthday. It was Saturday, and happened to be the day I tested Concerta 27mg, to test if upping the dose will sort the issue of meds crashing right after work and leaving me crashed until late evening, when it's time to go to bed and too late to study (evening school). So, on the party, we were toasting with alcohol free champagne. After the second glass (it was yummy) I read on the bottle that it was based on white tee. 30 min later it started feeling uncomfy. After 45 I said sorry and left, walked briskly for some time and got the initial urge to panic and run away down. And took a train home. 2/10, don't recommend. Coffe and MPH have a similar effect, but different mechanism and they just multiply each other. So you end up with panic level amount of neurotransmitters in your brain. But physical activity lowers them down. It's also super person specific, close friend takes very high doses of Concerta + upping with small ritalin in afternoon, and drinks lot of energy drinks together with that. Says he sees no difference. He was diagnosed around 19? and it's been many years, he says he just feels normal on meds.

So, after Concerta I had a break, and then tried lisdexamphetamine (Vyvanse). Doc wanted to put me on 30mg, I asked for less. She gave me 20, and advised trying half first, because they have more of an adjustment curve than MPH, or even, smiling, said 5mg maybe. I made the mistake of treating both meds the same. Expected calming effect with the 10mg, went shopping. Was mildly anxious, listened to piano music to keep anxiety down. Decided it was my regular anxiety because meds din't work, so I tried 20mg on the next day. Was just high on amphetamine, albeit not super high. Wasn't that bad initially, but later came crash. And very unproductive, got stuck at things, was jittery and such.

Now I'm using 10mg (using water bottle with markings to get rid of half). And use it in two doses, one in the morning, the other 5h later and it kind of works. Still a little to intense in the beginning and I'm currently experimenting with doing 2.5mg 4 times instead, over 6 hours. I'd love to get my hands on medical grade scales and be able to just get it into small capsules to avoid the hassle with water and be able to prepare them once for a whole week. But scales that can reliably measure 3 or 5mg with 0.5 tolerance are crazy expensive, so that's a later project.

Still, I can get much more done. I get less stuck on stupid stuff. I'm not fighting with my wife because it was too boring to do laundry or other stuff. And I'm still the lively person that greets and chats up everyone I know at work. And I'm also more resistant to anxious stuff. If MPH wouldn't make me so robotic and had an easier way to use lower doses, it could be preferable some days. With MPH I'm more organized and are better at task prioritization. With lisdex, it's still an issue sometimes. Getting stuck in sth fun, while supposed to do other things, but to a lesser degree.

It's been only a year so far. I'd like to get proper scales, find the EXACT perfect dose (whether it's 8 or 12mg). And also get a good schedule on when to introduce brakes each week. Most likely I just have to choose two weekdays, so the weekend can stay productive for school.