Comment by corresation
13 years ago
Insofar as one is the same human being, with the same energy reservoirs and time management skills as before your child was born, this is unlikely.
Your whole post drips with resentment-fueled bigotry and ignorance, making me wonder if you're fighting for attention at your workplace or whatever, feeling unloved. Here's an internet hug. Hugz.
Many years back I -- a new graduate employee -- was chatting with my boss, who was a part owner of the company/president. He had five kids, or maybe even six. He asked me when I was thinking of having children (it was still too early for me, but just as a conversational thing), and my honest answer was that I didn't know how he could afford it.
He then told me about an Arabic parable or the like that each child comes with a bag of money.
That seemed counter intuitive to me, but my life has proven it out. I now have four children, and I would wager good money that I know more current technologies, in much more depth, than you do.
If you have the capacity, having children has a profound ability to make you focus: While I am the same intellectual being, like the vast majority of developers I was absolutely pissing time away before children, and I doubt I passed even 5% productivity. Slashdot was the Reddit of the time, and doing asinine, meaningless implementations for days on ends was just a normal day. And I know this is the case for most developers.
Now I don't have time for the bullshit. I focus specifically on the things that yield success, in the most efficient manner possible. I'm still only maybe 15% productive (still piss away a lot of time), but the result is my own company, a lot of success, etc.
This.
Its hard to remember life before kids, but one thing I know for sure: I wasted a huge amount of time.
I work far more effectively at 39 than I did in my 20's. And my ability to focus took a massive boost after becoming a father.
But how much of that is due to nearly two decades of experience and how much is due to having kids?
Your words exactly mirror my experience after having my first child, too.
I still waste time, but I've never been more productive. I work full-time, have my own company in my spare time, and my child at every moment he's awake.
I've never heard about this effect, it sounds amazing. Do you have some more information about it?
> He then told me about an Arabic parable or the like that each child comes with a bag of money.
I can see how an empathetic person having children would increase their focus to succeed, but what is the limit on the number of kids? How would one know when to stop having kids? Why did you stop at four kids? Are you going to have more?
While indeed the story as told sounds like I am promoting copious reproduction, really one child fulfills the meaning of the parable: Many if not most of us operate at a very low level of effort, and succeed to some degree regardless. Having a child (which really is a surrogate for "having a reason to pursue success", which to others might simply be intrinsic drive) seems to make many focus the effort and improve efficiency.
We didn't expect our third child, or the fourth for that matter. That's life though, and I'm a very roll with it sort of person and am extremely pleased with how things have turned out.
Of course I am speaking from a very privileged position of happening to have the right sort of mind at the right moment in history in the right situation where I can talk about pissing most of my time away and still achieving what many would consider a lot of success. This obviously doesn't apply to all careers or all people.
I'm relieved to see you type that. Thank you for the sane reply.