Comment by stevenwiles
9 years ago
Your wife drinks 2 cans of soda and takes Advil every single day? And you let her do this?
Can I ask why you don't care about the well-being of your spouse?
9 years ago
Your wife drinks 2 cans of soda and takes Advil every single day? And you let her do this?
Can I ask why you don't care about the well-being of your spouse?
I agree with you. I suspect people think you're being sexist? I am a woman and if my husband drank so much soda I would lay down the law.
I find it surprising and alarming in other people's relationships (in America, anyway -- I noticed this was very different when I lived abroad) how little each partner seems involved in the other's fitness and health. I've heard "oh, but they would get offended!" or something. Like yes, that's certainly true with friends and strangers. But you have a major stake in your spouse's health. It's you who will take care of them when they are sick, you who will pay their way if they cannot work.
I exercise with my husband, I eat well with my husband. We tell each other when we are getting extra pudge. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Of course you should care about your spouse. But you're ultimately not in control of them as you would be with a dog or a child. They control their own actions. You should totally discuss it with them! Even if it hurts their feelings sometimes.
But if I'm pondering getting dessert and my SO says, "Hmm, let me think on if I'll allow it" I'd think he was an arse.
And as far as sexism, if anyone said that they'd be an arse.
I am not in control of any person. I can only advise. "letting" someone do something is not something that I can stop. If I want to drink 20 cans of soda a day, my wife can only complain about it. If she tried to force me to stop doing what I want, I would leave her and continue to do what I want. No-one should be a slave master and control another person.
Also, 2 cans of soda is very little compared to most Americans.
She's a human being who feeds herself, not a dog.
Let me make sure I understand your logic:
If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend who drank gasoline and ate glass and small, powerful magnets every day, you would not lift a finger or speak a word attempting to stop them? Because they are "not a dog, feeding themselves"?
Might I suggest you have a critical lack of empathy if you lack the desire to help people?
> Let me make sure I understand your logic:
I'm pretty sure you have not only failed to understand your interlocutors logic, but failed to understand how your "And you let her do that?" reads, and would better (presuming the question you seem to think you asked judging from this followup is what you actually meant to ask) phrased, "And have you done anything to dissuade her from this course of action?"
What you actually asked treats the spouse as an infant or chattel to be controlled, and is the reason you got the negative response that you got.
i suspect the problem is your verbiage: "you let her do this". there is no "let" unless you're someone's master.