Comment by Ididntdothis
6 years ago
Last year I was on a project where we couldn’t get something to work despite all efforts. Pretty much all managers walked by some weeks in and asked “why don’t you just do X?”. Whenever I heard the J word I pretty much stopped listening and told them “no problem. here is the code. Here is the server. Just do it.”. It’s incredibly disrespectful to walk up to people who have worked on something for months and then you use the word “just” in your advise.
I think you would be a difficult person to work with if you get offended by that one little word. I understand that it can be annoying to be asked repeatedly but just work on an elevator pitch to explain why you didn't use X. You might even earn some respect in the process. The way you act now will "just" (sorry!) make people feel like that have to walk on eggs around you and handle your brittle mood with silk gloves. Next time they will ask someone else.
I am usually pretty patient with people and generally don’t get offended. In this particular case we had worked very hard on that problem for a long time. This project was highly visible so everybody knew what’s going on.
I think people (I tend to do that too) should think twice before giving unsolicited advice and make sure they have thought about the problem for a while and have something of value to offer. Otherwise it signals a lack of respect.
Respect is such a culturally dependent thing though. I think it is more productive and nice to just assume the other person only has good intentions.
I get you... I spent so long hearing “why dont you just [incredibly useless and patronising suggestion based on manager’s knowledge of the code/industry as it was 10 years ago]”, it drove me insane. “Why don’t you just” is ok if someone’s been stuck on something for, say, a day. Weeks or months? You’re definitely missing something that makes the task so hard, and you will infuriate the developer by approaching it as if you know best.