Comment by rbongers

I like "what would happen if you used sshd"? (Not "tried sshd", that's important). They will either tell you the outcome of what they already tried or will be lead to the solution.

The only way I can think of this being misconstrued is "what would happen if you used sshd? Or are you an idiot and you haven't even tried it yet?" But that's a bit of a stretch. The reason I think this is different from the other phrasings is that it presupposes that the person has already tried the solution more than not. At the same time, it makes your ignorance clear - you cannot say "when you used sshd" because you don't know if they have tried it yet, but you ask them for the outcome knowing that they might've.

The downside is that for sometimes people might not pick up on what you're saying if they don't know much about the solution because it's so indirect, but that's the trade-off for favoring the other side of things. I think that once you know they haven't tried it, you can be a bit more direct as long as you're not condescending. Not that this is easy.