Comment by NotableAlamode

6 years ago 

    Praise in public, criticize in private

In my (considerable) experience of working in large organisation (private and public), whether this works or not depends strongly on the power differential between praiser/criticiser and praisee/criticisee. Basically this is the most likely outcome:

- Powerless praises publicly and criticises privately: criticism will be ignored, praise will be milked.

- Powerless praises privately and criticises publicly: if played right, this is working, since the powerful cannot brush aside the criticism, but this is likely to lead to retaliation!

A way of making public criticism more digestible is to make it very constructive: "You are wrong because XYZ, I recommend ABC instead because <reasons>". Ideally the <reasons> align with the organisation's goals, e.g. "ABC is clearly in the interest of our shareholders / voters / students / environment because <other reasons>.

Make of this what you will.

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NotableAlamode

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rpedela  6 years ago

The phrase "you are wrong" is one of the fastest ways to get someone's back up against the wall. In your example, completely removing that phrase doesn't change the meaning and it eliminates negativity.

  • NotableAlamode  6 years ago

    I completely agree with you.

    That's why publicly saying "you are wrong" is so powerful (and so dangerous). The powerful are not used to be challenged in public. They typically respond by a combination of

    - reframing, changing the subject

    - attacking, belittling you

    You can see this in action in stand-up comedy with hecklers. If you anticipate this reaction, you can turn this around very effectively in a professional context (not in standup-comedy though): "I note you are NOT answering my question, instead ...".

    With great power comes great responsibility.

aerojoe23  6 years ago

I agree with you. However I'd say leading with, "You are wrong" is risky. Unless you have a very good working relationship with them, always start with empithy and praise. "I think this will really work well for our clients. How do you handle 'reason they're wrong'?"

Obviously, do what the situation calls for, but I pissed many people off, without being wrong, telling them they are. I found really looking at it from their point of view first helps. Usually they're trying to solve a real problem, so at least take the time to understand it and how they see it.