Comment by fefe23
6 years ago
I don't know about you, but if I talk to someone about a problem, the "why didn't you just $FOO" suggestions are exactly the ones I'm looking for.
Because the tech environment has become so complex that there is probably a simple API I could have used but I wasn't aware of it.
How about we stop assuming people are out to hurt us, and start assuming everybody is well-meaning but they have social issues just like me? Just like every other nerd in tech!
There's a simple but subtle difference in "why didn't you just x" and "did you try x".
The first one has negativity associated with YOU in it and feels like it focuses on your past. The latter is neutral and it feels like it does not care about the past, more like a suggestion for the future.
Just as you're accepting that you don't know everything and would welcome input, so that you could grow since your technical career is not static, so too are people not static, and should welcome input on better ways of communicating & the ramifications of their communication choices, so that they can become more effective in their own lives. It's actually a pretty sweet deal if you ask me, full of betterment on both ends of things, even if it exposes some less-than-fun feelings in the process.