Comment by reaperducer
5 years ago
it doesn't solve OPs problem of worrying about offending someone
The solution is to not worry about them. If they don't like it, too bad. They're not worth knowing.
There are plenty of high-quality people and friendships to be made in the world. We don't need to cling to low-grade friendships just because they're people we already know.
In extreme cases, offended people have SWATted their targets causing all sorts of physical damage and emotional distress
You can't live your life worrying about what someone else "might" do.
When that person works at your work and has influence, you do get to worry about what someone might do if they interpret you wrong.
I guess the bigger question is why are you friends on facebook with someone you're not friends with in real life if that person has the power to negatively influence your career?
it extends past facebook. Tweets, community slacks, etc. It is just a re-hashing of what we were told when the internet was young: things you say and do there can stick with you and haunt you later. At the time, we thought that meant nude selfies or drunk pics. Turns out it can be anything that puts you out of the purity spiral and can come back and bite you.
offended people have an extremely disproportionate power. An offended female HS student can completely destroy the career and livelihood of a male teacher in a few keystrokes.
Disproportionate power _compared to whom_? To take your example: on any given day, if I'm a female HS student interacting with a male teacher, the power differential is hugely in his favor.
The teacher can fundamentally change the course of my life by limiting my ability to take more advanced courses and/or what colleges I can get into. They can humiliate me in front of my peers. They could simply make it impossible for me to learn and engage with material that could be important to my future success.
The fact that a female student has the ability to speak out about being abused _does_ upset that power imbalance, but it would be a mistake to claim that it gives her _more_ power than the teacher.
Either way, power should be wielded with good judgement, and there are certainly consequences on both for using it (and abusing it).