Comment by yetihehe
5 years ago
Yeah, had a neighbour lady like this recently. She was always closing her doors VERY loudly (lamps in my aartment were ringing) and when there was some argument with another neighbour, she eventually said that it was I who started banging doors. My best comparison for arguing with such people is like playing chess with pidgeon. It will throw off pieces, shit on board and be happy that it won. And you will be appaled that it didn't follow any rules, angry maybe, but is there any use to all that arguing? They will bring you down emotionally and then you only argue to have a feeling of winning. No meritoric discussion whatsoever. In such situations, just remember, that arguing with them will NOT have any utility or lasting value, it will just waste your time and mental health.
I've recently had an interaction of similar character with a neighbor in my very small apartment building, including, oddly, a door slamming component. We had had an interaction a few weeks prior that just went sideways, which caused this woman to slam her door every time I would walk past it. Since walking past her door is not optional if I want to leave my apartment (small apartment building, remember?), and this door slamming tended to startle my dog, I asked her to stop.
Because the earlier interaction I mentioned went sideways (including, among other things, her literally getting within 4 inches of my face while she was not wearing a mask), I decided to video record this most recent interaction on my phone so I would have evidence if anything went wrong that I could take to the landlord. I knew this would create an inherently more antagonistic vibe, but I felt like I had no choice after the prior incident.
Let's just say this interaction also went bad, culminating in a very minor physical assault (I was not injured -- she slapped the hand I was holding my phone in, because she did not like the fact I was recording), and a restraining order.
End of story, right?
Wrong. That restraining order, it was taken out by her against me. Her petition filing is literally nothing but gaslighting trying to paint me as the aggressor when I literally have video evidence to the contrary.
Unfortunately, due to COVID shenanigans, the court date was delayed a couple of times, and I ended up not being served notice of the actual hearing, which means I lost in a default judgement. I filed a motion to terminate her restraining order and a counter petition of my own, both of which I am currently waiting on a hearing for.
And, like your situation, because it was a neighbor, and because I have to walk past her door to get to and from my apartment, I simply don't have the choice to not interact with this person. Basically anything I could have done would be a lose / lose. Rock, meet hard place, I guess. Le sigh.