Comment by olivermarks
5 years ago
This is such a great article imo that really captures fundamental societal and cultural differences. I would say that Sweden has a similar 'grave' approach to life and that smiling is reserved for funny situations.
Much as I love the US 'etiquette smile' when passing people in the street and meeting, social pressure to conform can mask stress, anxiety and solemnity. The English used to feel pretty uncomfortable about yanks grinning away at everything but they seem to have partially become Americanized in this regard. (I'm English originally but have lived in the US for decades).
Re: British/American cultural differences, I was reminded of this 1942 handbook for American servicemen in the UK.
> British Reserved, Not Unfriendly. You defeat enemy propaganda not by denying that these differences exist, but by admitting them openly and then trying to understand them. For instance : The British are often more reserved in conduct than we. On a small crowded island where forty-five million people live, each man learns to guard his privacy carefully-and is equally careful not to invade another man’s privacy.
> So if Britons sit in trains or busses without striking up conversation with you, it doesn’t mean they are being haughty and unfriendly. Probably they are paying more attention to you than you think. But they don’t speak to you because they don’t want to appear intrusive or rude.
https://flashbak.com/1942-extracts-from-gi-handbook-instruct...
That's a brilliant book. A friend of mine once bought an original copy in auction and let me read the whole thing.
I do agree with the GP that the American style has rubbed off on the British. Then again I'm Scottish and we've always been closer to the Irish in that regard.
I've never gotten used to the 'etiquette smile' (I have different internal terms for it) and try to watch out for it as much as possible; I also appear to be physically incapable of expressing an emotion that I do not actually feel so there is no danger of me ever doing this to others. There is a certain shallowness that often accompanies it that often puts me on guard: the larger the smile, the tighter I grab my wallet and the quicker I wish to terminate the interaction.
I can understand why you might presume it's shallowness but it's really a type of etiquette. Similar to offering a handshake. I'm Scottish rather than American but here babies are often encouraged to smile at family and friends. It's exactly the same as teaching please and thank you
What? No, Swedes smile a lot and have a lot of polite set phrases. Although it's more rare to hear people say "good" to an "how are you", it's usually some variation of "jovars", "can't complain".
No they don't, when you compare them to people who smile a lot.
Neither Swedes or the Nordic peoples see themselves as gloomy as others do, though, so in that sense they're a lot like Russians.