Comment by fishtoaster
3 years ago
For me, I grew up a Taker. I'm not sure if this was a cultural thing (my parents are takers), a regional thing (western NY), or a me-being-an-unaware-dork thing (I was).
But now I find myself surrounded by Givers. I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing (SF tech scene), a regional thing (west coast), or a my-social-circle thing.
So I had to learn to be a giver to make any friends. What's interesting is that my old friends are mostly Takers. I imagine this was a selection bias: givers got bored of talking to me quickly! I get together with some old friends from college once or twice a year and every time it's a bit jarring for the first hour as I have to switch to all-take mode.
Anyway, the point being that I think you can learn to switch, and to blend between the two modes. In fact, I think being able to do so is generally good and helpful.
I think it's very much a west-coast / upper-middle-class liberal thing. I noticed it dramatically when I moved to the west coast (Seattle, in my case).
People think it's being polite and decent but to me it just seems boring.
Anecdotally I think 'taker'-ness is associated with immigrant cultures (Jewish and Italian come to mind, but I think it includes others also).
So... is Seattle giver or taker?
I think it varies too much to describe as one thing. But there's way more of the givers there than I was used to where I was from.