Comment by Lionga
2 years ago
Would be very happy to hear your lifestyle changes that manage (what does that mean?) the symptoms. Honestly if they work that would help me an others a lot.
For me the symptoms are loosing around a few ten to hunderd of thousands of dollars a year (maybe even millions) in my work/career. How can my lifestyle changes manage that?
No attack, really really curious.
Building consistent habits and working to streamline your life can mitigate some of the negative effects. Just getting exercise really helps me.
Stepping back and looking at the big picture, there will always be an effect on my life from having ADHD, but I do have influence. Focusing on the things you can control is important.
If you think exercise or some good habits significantly changes ADHD you don't know what ADHD is, sorry.
I do both, does not change my ADHD at all (it has other benefits surely)
Exercise manages symptoms, it’s not a cure. Honestly if you have adhd I would stop coming to HN. It’s a distraction and the nature of it requires you to constantly check in.
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> If you think exercise or some good habits significantly changes ADHD you don't know what ADHD is, sorry.
I think this is uncalled for, especially when in your very next sentence you clarify that you’re speaking about your own experience. Everyone’s can be different.
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That’s a pretty uselessly vague “symptom”. Do you lose it by literally withdrawing cash and misplacing it? By purchasing expensive things on a whim and ignoring them? By gambling? By failing to sign contracts or meet deadlines? By making the wrong product and incurring contract penalties or regulatory fines? All of those have different triggers and ways to avoid them.
Yes! I'm excited about this question. I'd like to share more about specifically what I've been working on in coaching. Most is related to (1) my work as an entrepreneur and (2) my role as a partner at home.
I'll start with (1), at work:
At work I struggle with time management, prioritization, getting stuck in "waiting mode", not being able to finish any detailed task (very important for legal etc), and getting easily distracted from any task at hand
Concretely, with my coach we started with helping me envision what would be different in my life if I fixed a certain number of the above. She explained this hope and motivation created would help me draw from an internal source of motivation since for a long time I theoretically wanted to change certain things and knew the path but couldn't actually bring myself to do it. I'd say this helped mildly, but I did feel a lot more hopeful and supported.
For me the most impactful change was having my coach guide me through the process of experimenting with different daily schedules that incorporated deep work blocks (she helped me set up triggers, rewards, plans for distractions, etc), certain auditory alarms throughout the day, and very specific systems that helped me get these small "detailed" items changed. I'm simplifying this a lot and I'm happy to go into detail more if anyone wants.
(2), at home:
I struggle with impulsivity, especially when I'm super stressed at work and not getting enough sleep. We addressed this a few ways, including some psychoeducation around nutrition and sleep, setting up some decent systems there (but it definitely didn't get me the whole way).
What was most helpful was to do a journaling exercise my coach led my through where I identified things I said that I regretted (this was a tough exercise for me to do, to have it written out), and rewrote these situations after the fact. Then when I had a long enough list, we looked for themes around triggers/situations and then rewrote the book for what would happen in those situations. We went through a light "practicing" exercise and eventually I had those on sticky notes in front of me until they got etched in my brain.
Overall, both (1) and (2) I'm still not great at, and we try to view everything as an ongoing journey of management, rather than "curing" ADHD, which won't happen. The biggest impact for me (and many of our members) has been having someone guide me through the steps and ask me questions and kind of just support me when I'm really hard on myself.
Appreciate the honesty and openness!
I know I could be working on things that generate a lot of money but I am just constantly distracted by HN, Games, YT etc.
So happy if you would go into detail about "set up triggers, rewards, plans for distractions, etc), certain auditory alarms throughout the day, and very specific systems that helped me get these small "detailed" items changed".
Not convinced that there is anything that I would not just ignore after a day or two but extremely happy to be proven wrong. I tried a lot of things, all failed after a very short time
Thank you, and more than happy to share in detail what we're on. The key (or one of the keys... not THE one) here is not just that I'm working on those things, but that there's another human on the other side who I deeply respect who is keeping me accountable to these changes. Checking in each week and knowing that check in is coming is helpful for me. For me out of the motivators of [accountability], [novelty], and [interest], accountability is my personal biggest one.
But back to the topic...
> Setting up triggers, plans for distractions, rewards:
1. Triggers: I get a glass of this special coffee (smart energy coffee, a brazillian brand that just came to US actually) every time I enter a 3 hour deep work block. It signifies the ritual has started, essentially
2. Plans for distractions: We tried a lot of things here, some worked and some don't (it's important you test and experiment to find what works for you). For me, I pre-came up with what sort of situations would take me out of flow easiest and planned around it. It was cumbersome but helped. E.g. for me it was "if a member emails I feel inclined to respond right away to help them", my solution was to give that 3 hour "shift" to my co-founder and trust that he's got it. Another one that worked was having a distraction log stickynote. If something happened that wasn't on my deep work agenda, no MATTER how important it was, I wrote it down on the sticky note and moved forward. This was really hard in practice but now I have it a lot better down
3. Rewards: This we also tested a lot and tbh I don't have anything perfect here yet but after each deep work session I allow myself to bask in the sun on my balcony and now I find myself nearing the end of the block and feeling the sun already as a physical response (I'm very sensory)
> Auditory alarms: I used to have terrible alarms that induced anxiety, fear, and surprise. My coach had me change it to things that are pleasant (oddly I never thought alarms should be pleasant lol). Now I have certain ones that signify the start and end of sessions, my work day, etc. They're just on auto-pilot and they help me build an awareness of time. Once again, like the other stuff, daunting to set up but once it's set up and you find your flow, it runs itself.
> Detailed items: THIS ONE is definitely still a challenge for me BIG TIME. I now have a specific part of my to-do list that is for items like this and I've experimented with different times in the day I do it, how I do it, in what chunks, etc. And we landed on me setting aside 1 time a week for "these tasks" that are kind of gross and I do it with wine (I know... not great) and with my partner, and with a pomodoro clock and we race each other to finish our annoying tasks.
I get it. I'm lucky enough that I can spend thousands a year to get the professional support I need but simply turning up to talk for an hour a week isn't going to achieve much, you have to put in the work to set up your life, your environment in a way that works for you to help slowly improve the chances that your have more good days than bad and not get drawn into a black hole of bad days that just sucks all your energy, motivation, will. Everyone is different but coaching should help you find the practical changes you can make to shift the needle towards more good days and less bad.
Here are two basic things that worked for me and I recommend to everyone.
1. A pill organiser. Medication helps a little, but not a lot for me, however if I don't take it I know I'm increasing my risks of having a bad day somehow. So I know I need to regularly take my pills. Problem was, I kept forgetting if I'd had a morning dose, or a lunch dose, or maybe if forgotten to fill my prescription on the weekend and ran out midweek, or forgot to pack my pill bottle. On Saturday mornings I fill a weekly pill organiser (7 removable plastic box things with 4 sections). This way I know if I need to top up at the pharmacy ahead of the work week. I also visually see if I've taken a particular dose. It's also more compact and easy to carry than bottles and blisters.
Sure it's not perfect. Last saturday night I filled it up then went to bed forgetting to take the actual dose for that night. I missed my antidepressants and the repercussions from withdrawal can last a couple of days. However, this was a much more common occurrence before I started doing this.
So that's a big change for managing my symptoms right there. Sure it might not be relevant for your situation but it's an example of a system/habit that helps manage symptoms
2. A translucent plastic water bottle with a built in straw. I'd hate to think what my kidneys look like. I've never been good at staying hydrated because (as I now know) my nervous system isn't very good at telling me about those sorts of things until it's dire. I'd easily go a whole work day without any fluids and not notice. I'd try jugs of water on my desk, or setting alarms. All to distracting. I'm also clumsy (dyspraxia como) so would end up spilling stuff everywhere, or dropping glasses.
Then someone suggested a water bottle with a straw. I was sceptical but it has changed my life and I know how stupid it sounds but I can't stress enough how much of positive impact it has had on my health and well-being.
I (and others) theorise that it's much easier to drink while still maintaining visual attention on what your doing. You don't need too engage as much hand eye coordination etc.
So there's another change.
I don't want to sound like some corny psa, but having simple systems to help support me in properly taking my medication and staying hydrated means I can take on the world freeze frame. cut to titles
But seriously. These have by no means "cured" me. But they really help. A lot.
Your #2 is oddly one of my fav things I've implemented recently. I use 2 identical bottles with straws that I fill in the morning and just by them being there (I drink them whenever I'm listening in Zoom calls... looks a bit awkward, but I'm over it) I'll finish 2 full bottles a day without even noticing it. My whole life I've drank literally 0 water up until recently!
Another one that worked well for me is putting laundry baskets in each corner of my living space and swapping out my closed clothing drawers with open hanging shelves (from Ikea, <$20) and small open boxes (<$5) on the ground for underwear, socks, etc.
It's experimenting with these small things to put on autopilot that have helped me a lot too!
Large mesh laundry bags. Different colours. Split your dirty smalls, t-shirts, bedding etc. between them then just zip them and throw one in the wash each day at some set time. You still have to remember to take them out again.
I've seriously considered installing some kind of soundproofed/vibration-isolated cupboard inside my walk in wardrobe to just keep everything in the same place, but my wife is less than keen. A laundry chute, however, surprisingly, still on the cards.