Comment by ketzo
2 years ago
When you say that your experience in the south is more Ask -- who is usually doing the asking, host or guest?
I said this down the thread but my experience (grew up in the south) has always been that Southerners are very up-front about trying to meet your needs before you can even ask for them. That was always how I was taught to host, anyway.
And I think that weirdly, that's more aligned with Guess culture: the person who needs something should never have to ask for it.
No, for my family growing up, nobody was going to try and read your mind, if you want something say something. For her family, they are always trying to anticipate needs. For her, if I'm not anticipating needs and taking care of them -- ie, if she has to ask -- then I'm being rude.
Yes, I'm with you on considering this to be a guess culture thing (since you have to be sensitive to what they might need, likely want)