Comment by deaddodo
2 years ago
I grew up in Southern California, and neither of your descriptors really apply to the general culture there. Social conventions in the area are far less structured nor regimentalized, so if you needed something serious (a loan from a family, help moving, a ride to work, etc) you should probably ask. If you had some minor issue, most people would keep it to themselves; not necessarily hoping for someone to "guess", but would respond pretty openly if you did probe/"guess".
I will say, the general lack of structure/formality in general social interactions is probably the biggest contrast between West Coast (especially SoCal) and either your New England or your wive's Southern upbringing. At least, this is my experience with transplants from those regions and their biggest complaints ("why don't people RSVP", "why are they wearing business casual to a fancy event", "why don't people bring gifts to get-togethers", etc).
Southern California is great (I live there) but its not exactly Western. My family is from Northern California, by way of the gold rush and very waspy, hence very guess culture. "I wonder if someone should open a window?"
So cal is in the west but most of the people didn't come over during western expansion or work on a farm or ranch. A lot came from the mid-west. So its sort of more like Arizona or even parts of Texas.