Comment by nokya

I wouldn't call it "guess", the author is being too nice with the people described in the essay.

Many people choose to consciously engage in toxic or illegal behaviors on the premise that, if the "victim" wants it to stop, it has to signify clearly its desire. Until then, they are free to continue whatever they choose to do.

I think this behavior is very far from genuinely guessing someone's attitude or wishes without consciously putting the same person into discomfort, distress or suffering.

As such, I wouldn't call this "asking vs. guessing" but rather "asking vs. forcing others".