Comment by RugnirViking

as someone from a heavily "guess" culture i'd say it's less about "keeping your desires hidden" and more about we are trained from birth to literally not think about our own desires. Like we would find it difficult to write down on a piece of paper in an empty room. Instead you are supposed to look after the needs of other people even as they look after you.

In some ways its sort of more resillient, like if one person has a critical failure or can't be present, others can help, and because many people know you, it is a web that can witstand the loss of one or several members. You don't have to use your own limited mental capacity to make decisions (especially if you're struggling or need help) and you get warm feeling of connection from helping others.

The guess way of choosing whats for dinner would be if you're feeling good you pick what you know your partner likes. If you're feeling bad or struggling to decide they suggest what you like. Of course, this relies on you actually knowing what they like - remembering times they enjoyed something, knowing what to fall back on when they are vulnerable or struggling. You know the things they like from observing them intently, their body language, their tone of voice, etc when you eat. They will find it difficult to express whether they like something explicitly unless they really hate or love it.

Some may find it exhausting having to intently observe but for the people I know in this sort of culture it's instictive, like you literally couldn't not do that even if you tried.