Comment by mise_en_place
1 year ago
The cruelest thing of all is that, technically speaking, his son is still alive. I’d imagine this to be far more torturous.
I have lost many close family members, but they all lost their biological lives. This just seems to be one of the worst experiences you could go through.
People are downvoting you, but yes, his situation is worse than death in a sense. In some ways it's a comfort to still have what's left of him with me, in other ways it's worse. I definitely have a DNR in place for myself. I have complicated feelings about... well, everything, which I did my best to exorcise in this piece I posted a few days ago:
https://www.fortressofdoors.com/four-magic-words/
Thank you for sharing. I've found it helps to talk about these things. When my own mother died, I didn't immediately feel sad. It was a range of emotions; I was really surprised at how much I laughed. Not that I found it funny, but something within me just seemed to break.
My father died just before Christmas - and it was similar, my wife thought I was coping a little too well. That said all I needed was for all the planned 'xmas' things to be completed and I was able to give myself the time I needed to cry and make peace with the situation. I still go for a walk most mornings and cry when I am totally by myself - not that I am ashamed of crying, but just that it feels more freeing and more open when I am standing alone on a beach.
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Thanks for writing this piece, I enjoyed it. My sympathies for your family's loss.
I feel like the most controversial idea in the story is the one where a four-word deontological requirement's truest and deepest form turns out to be a kind of consequentialist utilitarianism!
This reads like Asimov. Thank you!
Yeah, I also got vibes of my favourite sci fi authors when reading it.
I read Four Magic Words and shared it with some friends. Thanks for writing, and I wish you and your family the very best.
[dead]
When your loved one is a continuing biological entity but you will never again experience them as they were… to me it was like all the magic left the world and consciousness/humanity was revealed to be just an illusion.
And, as Lars has written, there are many multipliers in the individual cases. Unfathomable indeed.
There’s closure in death.