Comment by seoulmetro
1 year ago
All hard things worth doing are. What's your point? Don't do anything worth doing because it's hard?
I have both said and done. It's better for you than integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life.
Suggesting a seemingly easy solution to a debilitating problem someone is having might cause them to feel less about themselves. I believe the point is to offer sympathy to a reader who reads your post and sort of goes “if it’s just that, why can’t I seem to do it?”.
I can tell you mean well, but there’s an asterisk to your advice your commenters seem to point out. Your advice might require years and finding a good therapist or purpose for some. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
It's not a seemingly easy solution to let others and your past affect you less...
Or it may require taking the steps yourself right now because someone has helped you realise it.
Stop trying to protect people from helping themselves. If people don't want to help themselves they are free to.
Sounds like all of you are enabling the self-destruction of the above comment. That's something even I'm offended by.
Disagreement is not malice. People taking issue with your suggested solution doesn’t mean they’re trying to stop people from helping themselves or enabling self-destructive behaviors (at least not intentionally).
I intend to leave this conversation here, though I will read and consider any response you might have even if I’m not responding to it.
1 reply →
> integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life.
You were not wrong here and to be honest 9 hours later I feel ashamed to have made the original comment and no disrespect to the author obviously.
I’ve been having a few bad days lately and what the author and his family are going through took me back to a time when I thought could relate not as the author but someone as a family member who was affected.
I should have been more empathetic rather than making the comment about me (although I was trying not to).
I tend to not do this as therapy is working for me mostly, but times like these it brings back emotions that you cannot control.
Of course I'm not wrong. People getting upset at the truth because they aren't strong enough to try it themselves are wrong.
No one cares if you comment about yourself. People support those that talk about themselves but apparently they support people harming themselves like you continue to do.
It makes me ashamed to think that you're being guided by these absolutely abhorrent people in this thread. You can help yourself. Don't let them stop you.
You've got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
"Integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life" isn't optional. Biologically, the trauma changed both your body and your mind. Your neurological and endocrine systems do not respond to stimuli as they would have if you had not experienced the trauma.
It's highly analogous to a deeply damaging physical wound. It is part of you now, whether you want it to be or not. You can't undo it, and denying the reality of it won't actually help you live a healthy life without it.
Yes. So you and many other are encouraging letting the wound fester instead of healing it with all that you can.
You can't undo it, but you can live with it and not let it fester.
No one is talking about denial. My comments mention acceptance...
What's your understanding of how a body heals a major wound, like the loss of an arm? It has to integrate this into a reshaped understanding of itself. That's what healing is.
The core muscles have to rebalance to compensate for the missing weight. The neural pathways have to change in realization that, for example, instinctively trying to move that arm to catch a fall won't work anymore. The whole body has to relearn how to function now that it's different, now that the traumatic thing has happened.
This is integrating. Trying to function the way it did before actually prolongs the suffering. Only healing and integration is the path forward.
1 reply →
Your GP feels a bit flippant, regardless of whether it is or not.
It's not flippant. It's apparently classed as a personal attack to dang though. That's hilarious. Helping others attack themselves? OK. Helping others prevent self harm? BAD BOY.
Once again, I stated "regardless of whether it is or not." I'm sorry, but you failed to convey that.
Anyway, I hope this is hope this is a productive learning experience.
1 reply →