Comment by smeej
1 year ago
> it is impossible to feel sorrow and gratitude at the same time.
This is very much the opposite of my experience. Being grateful even for the losses that have brought the most sorrow, the two things at the very same time, has ripped me apart, but it's also been the only way through.
ETA: I say this not to contradict you or deny your experience. I say it in case other people are thinking their experience might need to include both, so they're encouraged to realize that, for some people, it's not impossible, but necessary.
> Being grateful even for the losses that have brought the most sorrow, the two things at the very same time, has ripped me apart, but it's also been the only way through.
Whether or not you express this sentiment as a Christian, this is a core tenet of the teachings. Despite being reminded of this by a close counselor in the beginning of my own tragedy, I have yet to fully come to terms with it. I know I need to, and I try, but I'm still bitter about it, and I know I'm still only faking it. In fact, I think I'm reading this story and your comment at precisely the time I need to in order to finally admit to myself that this is also my only way through. I gotta be honest: I never expected to hear the voice of God speaking through this forum. Thank you.
I do express it as a Christian, and I don't believe I could any other way. After losing my sister and my nephew six years ago (today would have been her 36th birthday, actually), I tried mightily to come up with any other way through, and it just didn't, couldn't, happen.
There's a line at the end of the book A Song for Nagasaki where he says, "For all that has been, thank you. To all that will be, yes."
I think the journey of my life of faith is one of coming to mean that.
Peace to you.
That’s a beautiful line. Thank you for sharing it.
Agreed, this was my reaction as well. One of the most tragic feelings I've ever experienced in the realization of how lucky you are once something is gone. This is one of the defining aspects of my experience with lost relationships and the death of friends and family.