Comment by WizardClickBoy
1 year ago
I feel like there's a misunderstanding here of there being a choice for victims of complex trauma to make between "suffering" and "coping". It is not as binary as this and I know people to whom this advice would be not only unhelpful but actively destructive.
> What else can you even say?
Try: nothing.
If the answer is nothing, we might as well not have this and the parent discussion at all then. Do you not see how that's directly analogous to supporting moving on silently?
There’s nothing wrong with discussing a problem if you try to understand the problem first.
You haven’t asked why so many people get stuck. Why is it so hard to move on? Why do some people manage and others don’t?
You have to genuinely want to know these things, not just ask to check a box or make people convince you with some kind of evidence.