You're not wrong that seeing a local tradition play out that you don't feel part of can feel unwelcoming sometimes, like not being on the inside of an inside joke. But that's not the same as gatekeeping, and I need carry no brief for HN to say I really don't recall seeing that around this, at least.
It's a tradition of mourning that does no one any harm. I hope there should be charity enough to spare for that in almost any heart.
As bmicraft said, I was calling out the use of the phrase "actual HNer" as being exclusionary, elitist, and toxic (harsh? Yes, intentionally so). Explaining the bar or posting a link to a relevant story or even just saying that it's a mourning band for someone impactful to the HN culture or history has passed away would have been a better approach than saying what amounts to "if you have to ask, then you don't deserve to know."
That's a little harsh.
You're not wrong that seeing a local tradition play out that you don't feel part of can feel unwelcoming sometimes, like not being on the inside of an inside joke. But that's not the same as gatekeeping, and I need carry no brief for HN to say I really don't recall seeing that around this, at least.
It's a tradition of mourning that does no one any harm. I hope there should be charity enough to spare for that in almost any heart.
They were gatekeeping who gets to be "an actual HNer" as only people that know who is being mourned every single time.
You seem to be responding to something like "mourning people not everyone knows is gatekeeping", but I don't see anybody saying that.
Well, you're right, and I appreciate your evenhandedness in calling me on it. You're not the one being disrespectful here.
As bmicraft said, I was calling out the use of the phrase "actual HNer" as being exclusionary, elitist, and toxic (harsh? Yes, intentionally so). Explaining the bar or posting a link to a relevant story or even just saying that it's a mourning band for someone impactful to the HN culture or history has passed away would have been a better approach than saying what amounts to "if you have to ask, then you don't deserve to know."