Comment by mproud

It sounds like the author is just trying to aimlessly find something to lose themself in, as if what they need to do has to be the most important thing ever done.

Maybe satisfaction comes to those who can make a difference with others more directly. Author should consider volunteer work, or working for a non-profit. Maybe just be a regular worker, and not the boss for a change. Learn to listen and be OK with following orders for once.