Comment by game_the0ry
1 year ago
As a south asian person, I could not agree more.
The irony is that my parents were immigrant entrepreneurs and my grandparents were also entrepreneurs on both sides. Yet my parents pushed me towards medical school or a stable job at the least.
I think this was for a couple reasons:
1. Asian parents express their insecurities through their children. They wanted a stable and high income (which maps to "doctor") so they push their kids to become the version of them they never were.
2. Asian parents treat their children like status symbols. Nothing says "I am the best parent" than being able to say "my son/daughter is a doctor." Saying 'my son/daughter owns their own business" just does not have the same ring to it.
In asian cultures, status and conformity are very valuable, and those do not map to high agency.
Not Asian or South Asian. I'm sure what you're saying is true.
But having parents that are not involved enough to push their kids towards anything in particular is a much bigger challenge to over come.
If you have a degree from a prestigious university and the network that comes along with it, pivoting towards start ups or something more creative or entrepreneurial is a lot easier than if you never went to college at all or didn't finish high school.
This is a fair point. I agree, there is a spectrum, and being more involved is better than being less involved.
On both ends here it's bad. I know several Asian kids who have permanently frayed relationships with parents because of how they felt their parents imposed their desires on their lives. The best is in the middle.
> push their kids
I think complete apathy is uncommon. Parents mostly want their kids to succeed in what would loosely map to their own definitions, to be "content" and self-reliant. If they come from a blue collar background that will mean suggesting their kids pick up a trade. Educated parents will usually suggest college.
You can't will ambition in someone else that isn't there, and it comes at a price. Some parents relentlessly make their kids train hard at sports, or studying, and they're miserable and resentful for it.
This sounds wildly similar to Brazilian parenting
It’s a spectrum. Many parents, across all countries act like this.
It tends to be associated with immigrants and parents who believe that they should have had a "better" job (even when they like what they do, they don't want their kids doing it).