Comment by FlamingMoe
1 year ago
“I would have liked to work hard on something I cared about. But I didn't have anything I cared about”
This is one of those sentences that make me jealous I didn’t write it. Just such a perfect description of early adulthood for many.
I channeled most of my energy into playing MMOs in the early 2000s, I have some wonderful memories but it fried my dopamine reward system and it took me more than a decade to wean myself off of the bad habit.
Not having something real and tangible to care about can be devastating.
I'm between jobs (burnout) and have found MMOs (Classic WoW) to be the only thing that makes sense anymore. What did you do to replace this and move on?
I like what nntwozz is doing and how it's framed, but I'd add that I've been exactly in your position, first in 2020 and now periodically since then, with the exception that I've been playing retail instead of Classic. I think people tend to resent how much time they've spent on MMOs and go in the complete opposite direction, which I definitely did for about a decade and it helped me get my life on some sort of course in my early adult years. I think there's nuance to consider though, and WoW specifically has helped me keep engaged mentally with something that's intense and incrementally rewarding, especially during the winter months, when the real mountains don't call for me as much, and times when I've been between jobs for more than a year. Burnout happens to me when I lose agency over my work, something bad happens in life, I become disconnected from the reward system of work, or all of the above. It can happen if it's just day-to-day emergencies with no tangible improvement and nobody giving much of a shit what you do, but it can also happen when you're just not able to pull yourself out of work and do something pointless and fun for yourself.
WoW helps me pull myself out of work and gives me something intangible to grind on for a bit, which maps nicely to maintaining the spirit for a remote programming job game loop.
So I don't think you need to move on unless it's truly an addiction. These days, I'll play a season of retail in a semi-competitive but mostly casual capacity, and usually unsubscribe in spring to enjoy hiking and mountains and climbing and a bunch of other things. It's the variety that keeps me enjoying each one of them, and it's the act of enjoying them that lets programming remain the slightest bit fulfilling.
Additionally, I do think it's been silly to try and replace gaming with things that are arguably more productive, like working on a bike or a side project, at least on a permanent basis, and as long as I can choose how I spend my time, I don't see how it's an inherently bad way to do it. I like working on electronics projects, bikes, and doing all sorts of other stuff that's great for my health and well-being, but they're all happening as well as gaming, because they're all different types of fun and engagement. No I'm not spending 10 hours a day on it, but it's a hobby like anything else.
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I changed my lifestyle from mainly indoor hobbies (series/movies/games/music) to mainly outdoor activities.
I bought a dog, I started riding mountainbikes again (as I did when I was a kid) and I got into bushcraft. Now I live off grid with solar and firewood.
In a sense I replaced the grinding part I did in the MMOs with taking care of the property.
I hand fell trees and process them for firewood, the branches go into a wood chipper. I trim the grass, use pruning shears etc.
I live in a timber house that's 125 years old, there's always something to work on be it painting, renovating etc. It's fun to develop real skills and use power tools. There's immense satisfaction in seeing the results of your own work.
When I want to play I ride my bikes (I also enjoy servicing them); I still enjoy music and movies/series but I no longer have any interest in actually gaming. I occasionally read/watch videos about it as a nostalgia trip.
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Very relatable, unfortunately. Wish there was an obvious way to find something you do really care about, that also happens to be financially viable. Jessica's advice to find interesting people, and caring will follow, might just work. Curious if others have found another "fix" here.
Not just early adulthood. It's a very good description of how I felt after I got laid off.