Comment by farts_mckensy
5 days ago
It's not difficult to imagine a number of scenarios where that perspective could bite you in the ass.
If you have a false impression of a person's character because you've jedi mindtricked yourself into not thinking the worst of people, you might end up trusting an untrustworthy person.
If you are in a toxic work environment, and you convince yourself it's not so bad, you might end up staying in a situation that is actively harming you.
We are speaking in the abstract and I can't comment on anyone else's experience. But I personally find toxic positivity and the endless drive to be more productive much more dangerous than being too negative.
The counterpoint is that seeing things “as they are” (which is the mind of a depressed person — ask me how I know) can lead you to not give people the benefit of the doubt, it can lead you to be miserly, unmerciful, pessimistic, cowardly. There is always a reason to be distrustful. But the only way good things can happen in your life is to be generous with your spirit and you should seek to do so as a matter of course, even if the rational part of your mind has inhibitions.
This isn’t to say, be foolish. But on the other hand, the mindset that leads to this kind of deprivation can be more difficult to cure, since it always appears from a place of rationality.
The problem with these kinds of discussions is, we tend to get more abstract and further and further away from real-world examples. And it all hinges on what you actually value. I could come up with positive adjectives for every single negative attribute you listed. I can only speak for myself when I say that I have never regretted not giving someone the benefit of the doubt. I have regretted the contrary. Good things often just happen to people because of chance, and they attribute it to some mystical property of the universe--generosity of the spirit, for example. Conversely, being generous does not guarantee that good things will happen to you. I'm afraid it's far more random than most are willing to admit.
> If you are in a toxic work environment, and you convince yourself it's not so bad, you might end up staying in a situation that is actively harming you.
I hate a toxic work environment too, but let’s be real, everything is fake at software companies, so there is no “harm” happening if you stay. So what if leadership is terrible, if you can play their little games, take their money, and not tailspin into a depression… congrats?
There's a mental cost to that. Essentially having to put on a mask and performatively "play their little games" is taxing. Some are better at it than others. But in those quiet moments, don't you ask yourself what percentage of your life you have to be a different person?
I ask myself a lot of things, but they all require money to do. This is just the society we made, you do some shit that doesn’t matter for a few decades, get some money, then go do whatever you want. I’m fine with it. Would I rather not do it? Absolutely!
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