Comment by yojo
2 days ago
FWIW, my kids never took to the screws, but are still ridiculously attached to their creations.
I strive to be open and honest in my parenting, but these battles just don’t seem worth everyone’s investment. A box spaceship that hasn’t been touched in a week is quietly “disappeared” to the basement, and if it’s not inquired after by the end of a month it goes to recycling.
This just creates trauma that leads to more hoarding behavior as they try to keep things from disappearing in the future.
Instead, you need to complete the lifecycle of a creation. They should know things they make won’t last forever, and you need to encourage the destruction when the time comes, and after that, they can create a new thing to fill the void, and the cycle continues.
Agreed. I know a hoarder (self-described, accurately) who traces it all back to her mom secretly throwing away her toys. She became highly defensive of her "things", to a ridiculous (three houses filled) extent.
My mother, OTOH, while not the greatest in the world, would ask me to choose which toys were being donated to "other children who don't have any" (Goodwill, probably). I keep things longer than I should, but can throw away the unused from time to time, keeping my house sort of tidy-esque, kinda.
If you're going to do it, you really have to pay attention to your kid(s).
When I was in my early teens, I walked in on my mom going through my brother's toys with a bag in hand to get rid of them. Once I figured out what she was doing, I asked the obvious question, if she'd ever done it to me, and she just nonchalantly asked me if I had ever missed any toys.
I never had. She actually knew which ones mattered and which ones didn't. These days I miss the magic fairy that comes in and gets rid of the things I don't use anymore when I'm not looking!
Yup, too many parents just buy mindlessly for their kids without thinking of the exit plan for all this stuff, preferring to just throw it away when their kid doesn’t notice. This gets rid of the garbage but then your kid is left with the impression they can just consume endlessly and there’s always room for something else, they never go through the process of getting rid of things.
1 reply →
> is quietly “disappeared” to the basement.
No comrade. Is better if box spaceship falls from balcony or attends special tea-party.