I was born in 1964 in the midwest US, the 7th out of 8 children. The house was a two story brick structure with five bedrooms and two bathrooms. The house was less than 2000 sq ft, but that included a moldy basement with seepage and jackposts all over the place helping support the sagging joists, so the real living space was closer to 2/3 of that, so 1350 sq ft or so.
The house had been built before 1920 when expectations were less grand; those rooms were much smaller than nearly any home I've been in built after 1980. When my grandpa came to visit each summer, it meant all five boys in one room, the two youngest in sleeping bags and occasionally getting stepped on in the middle of the night when one of my older brothers would get up and forget we were there.
There was also no air conditioning, nor ceiling fans. My parents had a box fan in their bedroom window during the summer. It was a big deal when the bedroom I shared with my next older brother got a box fan too; that was in high school.
The only thing I can say (having been born in 1988, sharing a slightly smaller house with 4 siblings), is that that sounds reasonable.
We all shared rooms and had less than a few square meters to ourselves. It was fine. People these days are too attached to the idea they need massive homes to live their lives.
I grew up in the 90s and I agree: I shared a room with my older brother until high school.
We shared EVERYTHING. And strangely, it didn't kill us! In fact: it just motivated us to go to sports and clubs and stay out of the house.
Obviously less extreme, but I do not understand this "every child must have their own room" thing. They don't! And I grew up in an incredibly poor rural area, imagine living in a city where there was actual shit to do.
If you grew up in the zero-interest (or close to it) rates era your parents were likely to have shown you an unrealistic financed lifestyle where everyone could have a big house, several cars and their own room.
we had loft beds. three kids in one room. each one with a bed and a desk and a small wardrobe underneath. those 2m², or rather those 4m³ were my personal space. the whole room was no larger than 12m².
> In the 1800s, it was commonplace to have 8 children. Did they all lived in huge houses?
This is a bit of segue from where we were. To brings us more in line with the topic: In the early 20th century, large and extended families lived in commonly built row housing.
Their roomier accommodations were one piece of communities that were more affordable and an overall better fit for larger groups & families (than modern housing and communities).
A counter anecdote to all of the others: My father’s parents owned a 3 story house in Ohio, with 8 rooms and a basement. The second/third floor were intended to be rented out if you weren’t using them I guess.
I always found this extraordinary because they certainly weren’t rich. I grew up in a 1200sqft house fwiw lol
How about people who lived in igloos, tepees, and mud huts? Did they have separate bedrooms for the kids? I seriously doubt that was an issue for them.
There are, you might imagine, other factors involved. Infant and child mortality were super high, but kids were an important source of labor, so people worked to have lots. There was no real birth control or sex ed. Marital rape wasn't a concept. Cultural pressure to have children was stronger than it is now. Etc etc etc.
No but the living conditions were atrocious, dangerous, unsanitary, and probably quite psychologically traumatizing (e.g. kids growing up in households where adults would have sex in the same room have all sorts of problems)
Edit: Since HN contrarians who'd never want their children living in some particular conditions find it so confusing how others might not too:
Overcrowded living quarters is a well known vector for a huge array of problems. Academic underachievement, sexual abuse, substance abuse, mood disorders, abusive relationships, the list goes on. Even after controlling for socioeconomic status!
… traumatizing (e.g. kids growing up in households where adults would have sex in the same room have all sorts of problems
Sure, to my western/puritanical upbringing that is weird, but I suspect for the majority of human history: parents have being having sex in very close proximity to their children. Separate bedrooms, even separate beds are a modern luxury.
Everything is traumatizing to these people. Their mother told them to hold the bottle for their baby sister. Oh no, what is this? Is this Parentification, the Source of More Trauma? Despite the fact that the elder sibling would prefer to sleep, perchance to dream-- and there lies the rub! For in that sleep, what trauma comes!
I was born in 1964 in the midwest US, the 7th out of 8 children. The house was a two story brick structure with five bedrooms and two bathrooms. The house was less than 2000 sq ft, but that included a moldy basement with seepage and jackposts all over the place helping support the sagging joists, so the real living space was closer to 2/3 of that, so 1350 sq ft or so.
The house had been built before 1920 when expectations were less grand; those rooms were much smaller than nearly any home I've been in built after 1980. When my grandpa came to visit each summer, it meant all five boys in one room, the two youngest in sleeping bags and occasionally getting stepped on in the middle of the night when one of my older brothers would get up and forget we were there.
There was also no air conditioning, nor ceiling fans. My parents had a box fan in their bedroom window during the summer. It was a big deal when the bedroom I shared with my next older brother got a box fan too; that was in high school.
The only thing I can say (having been born in 1988, sharing a slightly smaller house with 4 siblings), is that that sounds reasonable.
We all shared rooms and had less than a few square meters to ourselves. It was fine. People these days are too attached to the idea they need massive homes to live their lives.
I grew up in the 90s and I agree: I shared a room with my older brother until high school.
We shared EVERYTHING. And strangely, it didn't kill us! In fact: it just motivated us to go to sports and clubs and stay out of the house.
Obviously less extreme, but I do not understand this "every child must have their own room" thing. They don't! And I grew up in an incredibly poor rural area, imagine living in a city where there was actual shit to do.
If you grew up in the zero-interest (or close to it) rates era your parents were likely to have shown you an unrealistic financed lifestyle where everyone could have a big house, several cars and their own room.
bunkbeds is how I grew up
we had loft beds. three kids in one room. each one with a bed and a desk and a small wardrobe underneath. those 2m², or rather those 4m³ were my personal space. the whole room was no larger than 12m².
> In the 1800s, it was commonplace to have 8 children. Did they all lived in huge houses?
This is a bit of segue from where we were. To brings us more in line with the topic: In the early 20th century, large and extended families lived in commonly built row housing.
Their roomier accommodations were one piece of communities that were more affordable and an overall better fit for larger groups & families (than modern housing and communities).
A counter anecdote to all of the others: My father’s parents owned a 3 story house in Ohio, with 8 rooms and a basement. The second/third floor were intended to be rented out if you weren’t using them I guess.
I always found this extraordinary because they certainly weren’t rich. I grew up in a 1200sqft house fwiw lol
How about people who lived in igloos, tepees, and mud huts? Did they have separate bedrooms for the kids? I seriously doubt that was an issue for them.
There are, you might imagine, other factors involved. Infant and child mortality were super high, but kids were an important source of labor, so people worked to have lots. There was no real birth control or sex ed. Marital rape wasn't a concept. Cultural pressure to have children was stronger than it is now. Etc etc etc.
No but the living conditions were atrocious, dangerous, unsanitary, and probably quite psychologically traumatizing (e.g. kids growing up in households where adults would have sex in the same room have all sorts of problems)
Edit: Since HN contrarians who'd never want their children living in some particular conditions find it so confusing how others might not too:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S01452...
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3805127/
Overcrowded living quarters is a well known vector for a huge array of problems. Academic underachievement, sexual abuse, substance abuse, mood disorders, abusive relationships, the list goes on. Even after controlling for socioeconomic status!
Sure, to my western/puritanical upbringing that is weird, but I suspect for the majority of human history: parents have being having sex in very close proximity to their children. Separate bedrooms, even separate beds are a modern luxury.
> but I suspect for the majority of human history: parents have being having sex in very close proximity to their children.
Putting aside how true such a claim is... just because something was a thing for most of human history doesn't mean it doesn't cause issues.
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The issue is that we raise kids into this world, and not a different time and place. They grow up to be maladapted to this world.
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i always drag this one out: For a lot of modern history, public hangings were a family affair. Pack up a picnic and go downtown to watch a man hang.
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Everything is traumatizing to these people. Their mother told them to hold the bottle for their baby sister. Oh no, what is this? Is this Parentification, the Source of More Trauma? Despite the fact that the elder sibling would prefer to sleep, perchance to dream-- and there lies the rub! For in that sleep, what trauma comes!
Do you want your kids to grow up in a single-room household with 4 adults and 8 children?