Comment by jjtheblunt
21 hours ago
> It was actually kind of a scary because later that day I realized how in that moment that woman, who my dad had never met before, could probably have destroyed his life right then and there if she wanted to.
I know what you mean, but he could also have said "fuck off, lady; that's a kid crying, so grow up" and thereby have made clear he was worried about the kid, not some creeper who she hoped to have just told off.
She knew he was just trying to help. I think she didn't appreciate having the crying child brought to her attention which would have interrupted her conversation she was having with her friends.
The insinuation was, "stay out of my business or I'm going to tell a lie that could ruin you". He was clearly not bothering the child, anyone could see that, she could saw it herself. Whatever her game was, it was completely deliberate.
Since the child wasn't actually in any real danger, we chose to simply remove ourselves from that situation and not involves ourselves with a crazy person. Unfortunately being a shitty parent isn't illegal.
To steel man the mom, I raise my own children with a “rub some dirt on it” mentality for non serious injuries, minor scrapes and such.
Depending on the degree of injury, it could really be nothing and the mother is parenting to her standards with her child.
Personally, I’ve had to routinely counsel my own mother who would rush in with the overblown “OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK?! OH NO YOU SCRAPED YOUR KNEE!” Which in turn rile up my kids and cause a bigger scene overall. Typically my interaction with my kid is “Let me see… oh that no no big deal, you’re fine, get back out there,” and they calmly accept that it’s a minor injury, no big deal, and they keep playing. No screaming fits needed.
She has vastly more power than he has. With one sentence she could have him arrested or at least temporarily detained for nothing.
Just one comment thread up there's a person rushing to believe her and distrust the dad:
> "And don't get me wrong, I'm strongly inclined to believe women and I generally distrust men."
^ from the other comment thread above this one
> She has vastly more power than he has.
Just secretly record her - she then ultimately has less power:
1) She doesn't know
2) He can optionally choose to employ (or not) this information
3) Police may not be civilly liable for escalation afterwards, but she likely will be
Let's be specific about the supposed power in this situation.
If he called the cops and said "hey there's a crying kid and I can't find the parents" what power does she have over him there?
If she called the cops and said "I saw a man bothering this girl" what's going to happen in practice for the supposed crime of "talking to a kid who was crying at a playground"? Any asshole can make any false accusation against anyone at any time, here there's not even the slightest evidence of any harm, how seriously would it be taken? Cops drive out, see no man bothering anyone, drive off?
If she posted a video online of "man talking non-aggressively/non-threateningly to girl, then walking around talking to other adults" how much outrage is that going to generate?
The videos that generate huge amounts of outrage and get re-shared have disturbing contents, not just headlines.
I see so many online accounts of these "must walk on eggshells" worldview stories. Smells like an echo chamber, especially because when people self-report to things like "I avoid encounters with women because of this" then I'm not sure how much credence to put into the psychology of womens' behavior from someone with self-professed much-more-limited-interaction-with-them than I have.
This roughly tracks with my own thinking on the scenario. I don't understand the perceived danger.
This is a Dad who also frequently goes to playgrounds. Tbh, in my experience, most moms are super kind and generous to a man who's out alone playing with his kid because it's the sort of thing they want to encourage/reward.
The only times I've ever felt discriminated against as a male parent by female parents is in group play settings where the women form a clique and don't really want you to talk to them, but even then they're usually mature enough not to have the kids feel any of this, and nobody owes me letting me socialize with them, so it's whatever.
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Would any of those things have happened? Maybe? Maybe not? No idea. Wasn't going to find out.
The OP article goes into great lengths giving a first-hand account of what kind of catastrophic damage a mere bad-faith nefarious accusation can cause, no matter how "obvious" its falsehood may be or how little credence it would hold in court.
Did you just jump into comments without reading the article in the post?