Comment by thisoneisreal

I don't know you personally and can't offer individual advice, but there are some general things about our culture and general psychology that might be helpful to people like you dealing with those sorts of feelings (and yes I have been/am one of them):

1. A lot of social status is attached to productivity. This makes it really easy to feel like you "should" be doing things that you don't actually care about because society convinces you that you should. If your self-worth or self-image gets wrapped up in these things (and that's very easy to happen to any of us as social creatures), it's can be an easy recipe for unhappiness and feeling like you're not driving your own life.

2. Doing complex projects is challenging, and it's easy to lose motivation quickly when your initial enthusiasm wears off and the slog kicks in. You may have high aspirations and not be comfortable / willing to pay the cost they actually require.

I highly recommend Dr. K's (Healthy Gamer) videos about motivation, especially internal vs. external motivation. Not a panacea or anything but I think they give you a good foundation to work through those feelings. Obviously you may also want to consider professional help if you suffer these sorts of feelings extremely or persistently.