Comment by al_borland
3 days ago
I’ve had similar issues. I don’t think it’s productivity, but rather purpose. People need to feel some kind of purpose in life. If your job is all you have in your life, a lack of purpose in it hits hard. If you have a family, friends, and hobbies, in addition to the job, there is more balance. A lack of purpose in one area doesn’t lead to an overall feeling of unhappiness, because there are other areas where you can draw purpose to prop yourself up with.
I say this mostly academically, as I have had almost singular focus on my career, which has had its ups and downs (it’s still be stable and I make money, but I don’t know what it’s all for… I lack purpose). I know rounding out my life would help this, but dealing with my career is easier than facing those other parts of life I’m less adept at navigating. I’ve had nearly 20 years at the same company. I’m really not sure what would happen if that went away tomorrow, when I don’t have another stable area of my life to lean on.
This really resonates with me. The part about purpose is something that I've seen as a separate struggle but you might be right and they're the same. I've brought this up to family and friends but they don't really understand. I tell them that I feel empty because I don't feel like I have a purpose. I don't feel like I'm doing anything meaningful. If my work ended tomorrow, people would quickly find another solution or probably just not need another solution.
My friends have moved at a different pace than me. They're married and having kids soon so I expected to see them less. I think sometimes I purposefully distance myself because of this fact.
I do have hobbies like reading and drawing but I also get stuck trying to figure out how I can make those into projects instead of just enjoying them as they are.
I find myself in your story, especially "dealing with my career is easier than facing those other parts of life I'm less adept at navigating". It feels easy to just dive into work and avoid everything else. Even the last part. Thinking about what I would do if I didn't have my job as a constant. I'm sorry to hear about your feelings of lack of purpose. I read a quote that I don't really remember fully but it was something along the lines of you don't know the answer because it's not the right time. So I'm hoping that the answer to my question of purpose reveals itself in time.
Thank you for sharing your story and insight. It's given me more to think about.