Comment by os2warpman
1 day ago
>American greatness has produced a society whose members know not what to do with the freedom and abundance that earlier generations secured.
There have been several posts on HN about this. I have commented every time I have seen one because I think the above quote is true. I also think it is one, of several, reasons things are going the way they are.
Many of my friends, coworkers, and relatives have fallen into the trap of being bored to death. They fill up their time with worthless empty "calories" of media consumption, ethanol, and doom scrolling. Almost all of them are unhappy. I think it is widespread to be like this.
But the problem is solvable.
There is no person, no person too busy, too tired, too poor, too disabled, too shy, too anything, who cannot find the time to do something that provides value to their life. They just have to, and this is the part that makes people mad, put down their phone and turn off the TV.
In every zip code in the entire United States of America, there is some group of people, somewhere, that is looking for someone to join them-- unless it is an isolated patch of remote wilderness where food and fuel need to be airlifted in or a remote island separated from the mainland by thousands of miles of sea there IS something.
You just have to get out, find them, and join them.
The last time something like this popped up I do what I usually do and listed non-work, non-social media things to do within an hour of my deceased grandparents' farm in central Southern Indiana. That's my benchmark-- if there are things to do here there are things to do everywhere because it is about as far from "the big city" you can get absent stretches of western desert or alaskan tundra.
Some quick searches found rod and gun clubs, knitting circles, small rural libraries with 3d printers going idle and anime clubs, three (yes, three) astronomy clubs, amateur radio clubs, gardening clubs, volunteer fire companies (who always, everywhere, need members), civic societies, book clubs, and even a small community performing arts center with a banging schedule of shows whose website was practically begging for people to come join them to be stage crew, performers, and set builders. Rural, barely-covered-by-a-cell-signal, southern Indiana, and those are just the things I found with online calendars full of events.
Being active in one's community outside of work, and deriving meaning not from work but your personal accomplishments and activities is a skill-- but it is a learnable skill.
I think it's certainly true that as an individual there are things you can do to be more actively socializing. But the fact that we are seeing such absolutely widespread changes in the populations behavior means it's not just some people being lazy, but that we have actually changed the environment for the worse.
Much of the world is currently looking at banning social media for kids. But I'm staring to feel it's almost just as bad for adults as well.
Well said. Even just getting a book and taking it to a beach or park or library or coffee shop is so much more fulfilling than doomscrolling or watching YouTube or whatever. Getting out of the house is the first and most crucial step to living a more interesting life.
How do you square your belief in the opening premise with the results of your research into clubs and "things to do" that seems to completely contradict it?
The varieties of person are as varied as the total number of people so there will always be those who seek those things out, but if you look at the trends for clubs and organizations you will often see that participation and membership is declining.
Which is kind of the point of the article.
Funny you mentioned anime clubs, the medium has been under bad vibes for the last decade or so
How so?
[flagged]
Genuinely curious what experience you had that led you to this belief?
My local beach volleyball club called parks and rec and asked for a net on the beach and parks said “sure no problem, then promptly provided it” then also provided a rake and bucket to clean the courts and a key to a nearby storage locker. It’s not hard at all. You just have to stop lying to yourself.
Congratulations on being lucky enough to not be afflicted by a bad enough mental health disorder! All you have to do is to "get out there and do stuff" to achieve fulfillment.
Maybe you'll consider not projecting your experience onto the many others who are literally unable, even though they are equipped with the same number of functioning hands and feet as you do, and don't seem disabled by mere appearance.
> They fill up their time with worthless empty "calories" of media consumption, ethanol, and doom scrolling.
You might consider extending this empathy by also not blaming the otherwise healthy people falling into these dopamine traps that are designed by professionals to entrap, designed carefully over many thousands of man-years to maximize ad revenue.
Don't get me wrong, I agree with you for the most part. Yet I'm struck by the complete omission of the robber from the story, and the focus on the robbed houseowner's weakly built front door, when it was already made of steel. And of course, the non-negligible fraction of the population whose front doors are made of weaker material through no fault of their own.
> Almost all of them are unhappy.
Then surely they would climb out of their dopamine gravity-wells in the first chance and pursue happier, more real lives, right, if they could?
I kindly ask you to reconsider your beliefs regarding "willpower".
> Congratulations on being lucky enough to not be afflicted by a bad enough mental health disorder! All you have to do is to "get out there and do stuff" to achieve fulfillment.
It’s true that mentally ill folk (including yours truly) fall prey to these dopamine sinks more easily as an escape or coping mechanism — and they’re even more vulnerable to the predation of marketers and UX engineers trying to maximize ad-views. It is important to have these talks about society and social structures. But ultimately, on an individual level, it very literally is about just “getting out there and doing stuff.” That isn’t dismissive or discounting hardships, that’s just how it is.
Getting out there and doing things is the answer, for those with mental illnesses and those without. Upping your willpower and your ability to cope is paramount. How you do it differs from person to person: It might be tweaks to routine, taking medication, or getting therapy. But this is a universal human thing. The goal is the same, the steps is the same — but some of us have more intermediate steps than others.
If you try hard enough you can always find reasons to justify failure and explain why no improvement is ever possible.
You know, I'm looking at this conversation, and it reminds me a lot of the challenges of starting a physical health kick.
The answer to how to get into better shape isn't a mystery: eat well, work out. The environmental forces against you are not a mystery. But DOING this is really hard, and these habits involve skills, which have to be developed from zero over time. Your first cardio is going to suck. If you are a beginner cook, I've got all sorts of ideas on what to make and how, you need some direction.
The worst thing to do is nothing. The best thing to do is learn to cook one thing and start going for long walks. You iterate on the practice them there.
So what's the equivalent Step 1 for the doomscroller?
Because I agree with you, "delete all the apps and go be social" isn't going to cut it. For a lot of people, starting with basics "go see a band play, shut off your phone for the evening" or "instead of getting carryout, take a book to a restaurant and sit at the bar" (traveler's hack: you can do anything alone if you bring a book).
Lazy gunna laze.