Comment by lemonberry

There are many kinds of meditation. I'm not sure what kind you're describing, but the way I've learned it is to not be focused on any one thing, but to let thoughts arise and pass without clinging to them or trying to push them away. The effect it's had on my own thinking is to have a better relationship with my brain. I'm less reactive and find myself ruminating a lot less.

There are still dangers here from what I understand. Those with trauma can have past events pop up unexpectedly and have, undertandably, negative reactions. Most medtiation teachers recommend seeing a professional for guidance for people like this.

While you clearly didn't benefit from whatever kind of meditation you were doing you may find that other kinds of meditation help you with the very problems you're identifying. Or not. Many (most?) people live fulfilling lives without ever meditating.

That said, I think most people benefit from physical activity. Note that I don't say exercise, I think the latter is great - I row almost daily in addition to doing calisthenics, working my kettlebells, etc. - but I think modern culture and the fitness industry have conflated physical activity and exercise.

Regardless, I'm glad you found something that works for you and that you didn't continue to force a path on yourself that clearly wasn't working. I think this kind of self-awarness and adjustment is important.