Comment by ratelimitsteve

> It always struck me more as shallow “edgy teen” posturing than anything else

Comment OP here: it was exactly this; the safest, most boring possible way to be transgressive. I didn't talk about it as much as other kids who were like this, so I didn't have to stop once people started to actually care/respond, but I did go from keeping my Harold Schechter books on my bookshelf to in a special box in my closet. Merely knowing about these things gave me a little secret thrill like I was some sort of badass with extreme psychic warding able to go into some secret space that most people couldn't stand. In reality I was just desensitized cuz abusive mom and I'm really glad I grew out of it before I got to the part some kids get to where learning isn't enough and they start experimenting.