Comment by sarchertech

4 months ago

We had some neighbors that used it throw a big Halloween celebration. They gave out drinks and snacks, dressed up in very elaborate costumes, setup movies on outdoor projectors, and do hayrides.

They didn’t do it last year. I was disappointed, but I’m not angry at them. I realize that they were spending a lot of time and energy and maybe they are just burned out.

I’m sure there are people who are angry and judge them. But those people are spoiled, entitled brats.

The distinction is that it is entirely fine to be disappointed. It’s not fine to get angry.

If people were depending on the party for very important things, and the neighbors encouraged it, and gave no warning, then it would be fine to get angry.

  • If you’re depending on the party for very important things you need to ask the neighbor how long they promise to keep throwing the party. You don’t just get to assume they’re going to do it literally forever and get mad when they stop.

    • In this analogy, you ask and they decline to promise anything concrete about the future, just saying that they currently have no plans to change. Their statement is the same any time they're asked, with no early warning via that method.

      And, reminder, they keep encouraging people to use the party as an important foundation for their own efforts.

      Does that help explain why a sudden stop is causing harm to people that weren't being greedy? At which point anger is not an inherently bratty behavior.

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