Comment by hamasho

I fear sharing code for a different reason. I'm a perfectionist with tendency toward procrastination and anxiety, and sometimes I overestimate my abilities. So when I submit a PR, I want to make sure the code is clean, well organized, and covers all corner cases and hidden feature details. This works well most of the time. I put effort to think about design, structure, and implementation more than coworkers. And after a decade of experience I can code quickly for tedious tasks.

But sometimes, when implementing non-trivial features, I struggle to come up with good implementation. This prevents submitting working code early. And when I feel I'm delayed, my anxiety kicks in, and I have this urge to implement cleaner code and more features than expected even though all of my coworkers just want working code. And I feel more pressure, more urge to implement well, more anxiety, but it makes me procrastinate (I'm working from home so I can just lie down on the bed when I'm depressed). Sometimes I manage to implement, sometimes I give up and the feature is not implemented or assigned to a coworker. But in few cases I end up with severe depression, stop functioning, and finally quit the job.

I can handle this better than before after making same mistakes again and again, but still happens sometimes.