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Comment by mvid

2 days ago

As an uncle, is there an opposite version of this list?

Pokemon cards.

Even kids who can't read yet will somewhat play with them outside of the rules. Except they're fragile, easy to lose, will bring fights and other troubles as they grow up, and cost a ton more money if they really get hooked.

1800s black powder revolver replica + starter kit of stuff. Noisy, messy, fraught with peril and danger, a little less expensive and much less cumbersome than a 1980s 3-wheeler. For ~$500 you can be the coolest uncle ever and if the parents take it the kid will resent that for life.

If in doubt, buy a musical instrument.

Or paint. Or glitter.

Aren't the choices straightforward, or looking specific product links?

Generally:

- Robots with lights that make nonstop loud noises without helping with household chores

- Glue

- Glitter

- Finger paint

- Bass guitar, drum kit, or trombone

- Baking cookbooks

- Things worse than IKEA flat packs with zillions of tiny, fragile pieces like laser-cut wood models

A cooking kit.

Usually cake baking of some kind. The kids will get bored after the initial mess making part, but will be expecting a yummy treat at the end, so the parent has to see the whole thing through, _and_ clean up the mess.

For an added bonus, the kid then eats the sugary treat, and they have that to deal with.

Don’t forget noisy. Have you considered an Otamatone?

  • The ideal "fuck you, parents" present must be noisy, and yet must require no batteries. Drums & cymbals are a good choice, as is a vuvuzela or an Aztec death whistle.