Comment by legerdemain
1 month ago
This has absolutely never worked for me in cafes, not in decades of trying across multiple states. Cafe regulars either bring their own company or "laptops open, headphones on, heads down."
Amusingly, the rec league pinball people are absolutely ferocious about promotion. Pretty much every thread in r/bayarea about looking for friends gets a pitch from a pinball person.
Yeah I don't think bumping into random people in public places is a great strategy. It's not a social situation, and it's a complete crapshoot.
I think the best thing is to have a hobby or interest that has a local place where you can find other people that like it. Music is a good one, go to some shows by yourself and talk to people. Or tennis courts, a makerspace, some kind of special event, etc. You will already have something in common and something to talk about with the people there.
Coffee shops are definitely tougher than bars. I've made friends with baristas in one of three ways: The shop wasn't busy and they had time to chat (these shops don't usually last long), I recognize them outside of the coffee shop and get to say hello, or I worked at the coffee shop with them.
I wonder if Yemeni cafes would be a bit more bar-like in terms of socializing. They're usually open until midnight or later, but I think it'll be a while before they come to where I am in Iowa.
As for the pinball evangelism: I think it's because pinball is a great shortcut for making friends for introverts. The level of structure, competition, socialization, and just about everything else about it can be dialed in to each individual's liking.
I'm surprised Yemeni cafes have already built a reputation. We have several in the area, and they are indeed open very late, although they attract a customer base that seems less open to interacting with strangers.