Comment by Waterluvian
2 days ago
I got to interact with Scott just once on Twitter. I shared one of his strips in response to a tweet he made. My intent was tongue-in-cheek and very inline with the themes of his work, but he reacted very aggressively and then blocked me.
It was a bit of a crushing moment because inside my head I was thinking, "I know and love this guy's work. Surely if I just engage him at his level without being a jackass, we can add some levity to the comments section." My instinct was that maybe he really was just a jackass and I should label him as such in my brain and move on.
But then my cat got sick last year and went from being a cuddly little guy to an absolute viscious bastard right up to the day he died. It was crushing. One day I realized it felt similar to my experience with Scott. I wondered if maybe Scott was just suffering really badly, too. I have no idea what the truth of the matter is, and I don't think that people who suffer have a free pass for their behaviour. But I think I want to hold on to this optimism.
As John Scalzi once said, "The failure mode of clever is asshole." [1]
That has prevented me from posting what I thought was a clever or cheeky response in case it didn't come across the way I wanted.
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[1] https://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/06/16/the-failure-state-of-...
The irony is that Scott Adam's himself wouldn't have been in favour of policing one's own thoughts. /tongue-firmly-in-cheek
That's a great quote; over the years I've internalized something similar which is why I try to be less clever on the internet than in person.
I love that guy. Never having been an avid reader, I’m trying to read more, and my mission now is to read through most of his books.
thanks for sharing, I think I needed to read this
Confession:
Quite frankly, this is a worry for me. I have noticed that I've become shorter with people and less tolerant as I've got older. I've started to feel some resentment in certain situations where I felt I was being unfairly treated.
I recognise these feelings and things, which I am grateful for. So I work hard to correct this, and I hope I succeed, but I seriously worry about my brain changing and becoming someone quite unpleasant. You look at people from the outside, and it is so easy to judge, but we're all just a big bag of chemicals and physics. Personality change does happen, it could happen to any of us.
As I grew older I changed from being a person who never got angry, to having very distressing bouts of rage.
I gave up caffeine, and the rages completely vanished.
Worth a try?
I've grown increasingly grumpy with age, and I only ever drink water, so results may vary. Still, nothing to lose by trying it.
As you get older time is more precious so you want to waste less of it. This is a factor, how much of a factor it is differs from person to person.
As they say - "I don't suffer fools gladly"
Do you maybe have too little slack in your life? If you have too little emotional energy 'in your tank', compassion and empathy and such naturally go down as there are less 'resources' to spend on empathizing with others.
For what it's worth, banter on social media with someone you're not familiar with is almost always playing with fire. It's really easy for something to come across wrong or just be kind of exhausting, and this effect is magnified the more of a spotlight that person has. You're just one of thousands of interactions they've had that day/week/month, and so unless you know they enjoy that kind of playfulness, I find it's worth assuming they don't. This is, ironically, especially true with people who publicly post in that tone, because they get it coming back at them all the more frequently.
It really doesn't have to. I thought I was being clever when in a thread I likened something Michael Godwin said to being Nazi, because I thought it was a funny self-reference, and he just gave me the Twitter equivalent of an eye roll and moved on.
You fell afoul of Godwin's meta-law.
Always give the benefit of doubt. Perhaps him acting aggressively and blocking you was a misunderstood attempt at humor. A lot of comments I make online are tongue in cheek but people take everything very seriously. Adding emojis doesn’t solve that problem and can even make it worse. It’s really impossible to know for certain. Online communication is totally different from the real world where feedback is instantaneous. Better to assume good intent, even when there’s a very high likelihood of being wrong. If nothing else it’s better for you to err towards rose colored glasses.
>Perhaps him acting aggressively and blocking you was a misunderstood attempt at humor.
People who are being hyperbolic for humor tend to follow you back not block you
I've seen this before where physical illness can deeply affect a person to the point their personality seems to do a 180. There's no difference between physical and mental health, it's all interconnected.
There is much to learn about human psychology from animal indeed.
The only lesson here is not to idolize people that create content you like.
Don't overcomplicate it.
> But then my cat got sick last year and went from being a cuddly little guy to an absolute viscious bastard right up to the day he died. It was crushing.
Chronic diseases (of which aging is one) can do nasty things to people and animals. The lesson here (which I think you picked up on) is to try and be kinder. It may not always work.