Comment by brk

1 month ago

Have you tried asking many people to "keep it down"? Generally that doesn't end with them politely keeping it down.

As with anything in life, it depends on how you ask.

  • You mean

    "As with anything in life it depends on a huge number of variables such as location, number of allies the other person has, the threat potential you represent, the number of allies you have, your standing on the social ladder, if you're in a position of power, your ability to understand social clues, the exact method how you ask, yada yada"

    • No. It delends on how you ask.

      Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? Tell them first that their noise is loud ? Ask them in a respectable tone if they would lower it, just a bit? Did you give the impression that you were asking, not demanding?

      Of course I won't ask a drunk or aggressive looking person. But there is a wrong way to ask, and a better one.

      6 replies →

  • While I agree and I'm not the OP you're replying to this feels like the burden of societal correction needs to be on the wronged and not on the person committing it?

    It's tolerating the intolerant (their intolerance to understanding social order). They need to be bludgeoned back (metaphorically).

  • in my experience, the more polite you are, the more likely you are to get punched in the face

    If you are in a venue where politely asking someone to keep it down, results in them actually responding, you generally don't need to ask. You are among conscientious people to begin with.

    For the most part, about 99% of the time, the whole point of drawing attention is waiting for someone to politely ask them to turn it down. And it isn't so they can respond in kind.

  • I left my Mac on top of my car in San Francisco once and the next day when I came back it was still there. The thing with catastrophic events that occur at 1% is that even if everyone were to risk it ten times (that's a huge amount for this I think) 9 out of every 10 people would say "nah, nothing happens, I've done it ten times without anything happening" but then 1 out of 10 would die.

    So then the question becomes how well you've sampled that catastrophic risk before you say what the real risk is. As an example, I've been mask off and partying since as soon as that became legal. Haven't gotten sick from COVID yet. Shows, house parties, sharing drinks with people who later had it. Tested often because I was this high risk. Zero positives.

    I could say "actually, if you just do the things that I did you'll be fine". After all, I've been fine. Nothing happened. I just didn't get sick. I've got the winning formula.

    • I was mask on and at a bar literally on the day they lifted the capacity restrictions, and came down with COVID days later. I was the lucky 1 in 10!

    • > I left my Mac on top of my car in San Francisco once and the next day when I came back it was still there.

      Not the latest model, huh? That’s certainly a passive-aggressive way to suggest you upgrade…

  • No. People who are loud do that because they want to be loud. They want to hurt people. And they get off to weaklings being polite. The law is too slow and too forgiving for these destructive forces. We need to bring violence back in a big way.

    • If we're going to bring violence back in a big way then those with the least consideration for others (the ones you say want to hurt people) will have an outsized advantage in its deployment.

      2 replies →

  • Depends on your combat level and their combat level and if you are in a safe zone or on the subway

In my experience, if you ask it politely and nicely, it works. I can't recall a time when it didn't.