Comment by coldtea
16 hours ago
Did anybody else find the original story mediocre stuff? Interesting premise, but neither novel nor that deep. PKD has done 100x with much less.
16 hours ago
Did anybody else find the original story mediocre stuff? Interesting premise, but neither novel nor that deep. PKD has done 100x with much less.
I really liked it and all the little interesting ideas within it, like the antimimetic worms that live everywhere. I actually found it very creative and clever. However, I didn't think the recent rewrite was as much of an improvement as others seem to. The later parts were improved but I thought some of the padding out of earlier parts arguably came out worse.
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Edit:
To give an actual example, Marion's description in the original, from the scene in the video:
She is turning fifty this year and slowly greying, well on her way out of "petite" towards "little old lady".
In the updated edition:
She turns fifty this year. She is diminutive and flint-eyed, very dark-haired but rapidly greying. Today, her hair is strictly pulled back and up into a silver clasp. She wore her good suit for this, one button, very dark grey, with a solid blue blouse underneath. Ankle boots with stout heels, two silver stud earrings in each lobe. Contact lenses, not the usual glasses. On a lanyard around her neck she wears a security pass with a bright orange and red diagonal stripe.
Two uses of 'very dark' right after each other? And I actually liked how snappy the original was but that might be just me.
Another line in this first chapter that I love from the original:
"What…" O5-8 asks carefully, "would happen if we did know?"
becomes in the new edition:
"What…" Mahlo asks carefully, "would happen if we did know what happened to him?"
Why pad that out? It sounds less natural now.
I liked it for the interesting ideas within it. My favorite part of a story is the worldbuilding, the author's unique take on an idea, the special ways that different characters think and act. There's not a great deal of artistry I require in the introduction of a 49-year-old greying woman deep in some giant bureaucracy to imagine how other people relate to her, I'm interested more in the idea of a bureaucracy that deals with antimemes.
Perhaps that comes from reading too many online stories - including the whole of qntm's site [1], including the rough drafts. The quality of the editing, prose, or dialog isn't that important to me if the quality of the worldbuilding and the concepts are high enough.
https://qntm.org/fiction
There were also some examples of sloppy editing in the updated edition, like multiple uses of the word "perimetre" which the author acknowledges was an 'incautious find-and-replace from the US English "meter" to UK English "metre"' https://qntm.org/antimemetics#komment6913d2eb6c240
Which is especially odd because the author (Sam Hughes) lives in the UK and wrote the original in UK English, but apparently wrote the rewrite in US English. For example, a chapter in the original was titled "Case Colourless Green", but in the US edition of the rewrite that chapter is "Case Colorless Green" (without the 'u'). So Hughes, a native UK English speaker, wrote the rewrite in a non-native (to him) dialect, then had it (lazily) translated into his native dialect.
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I did find the introductory short story (this one) brilliant, as it's short, shows a clever and surprising inversion of roles midway, but especially because the premise- antimemetics- is actually extremely interesting. I even wonder if it has been developed seriously- I mean the study of antimemes as a communication/ propaganda technique.
It's true that the whole novel, despite a few good moments, seems mostly interested in plot and entertainment. Having read quite a bit of qntm's stuff online, I'd say he excels in the short story format where he can quickly present a clever or surprising idea and there isn't the need to sustain a plot or work on character development etc.
Anyway, comparing a random author to one of the best and most influential sci-fi authors ever is a bit pointless, don't you think?
> I even wonder if it has been developed seriously- I mean the study of antimemes as a communication/ propaganda technique.
Tell me you can't see the fnords without telling me...
I loved the ideas! The premise was novel to me, and I also don't think I've encountered the same idea since (except for in reference to the original story). I'm not a fan of the writing style though. It's very stiff and heavy-handed, as if the writer's only goal is to setup the next twist. But I can't complain that much, it reminds me a lot of my own writing.
My standard for website fiction is lower. When you're unknown, there's less pressure to go through a long editing cycle. Pale and SEEK have been good though.
Would not consider myself well-read, if I read enough PKD stories I could probably find some mediocre ones; really liked the popular ones I did read.
Indeed, it works fine as an introduction to a longer series, but on its own feels pretty unfulfilling.
I think the story where she detains her own husband would work much better in a stand-alone adaptation.
I thought the short movie was also mediocre. It should have been much shorter.
thought the idea quite fun, the execution incredibly amateurish.
The idea was entertaining and I enjoyed the read. The author is clearly accustomed to shorter works. The final book has the feel of an anthology. Regardless, one my top 1000.