Incident CVE-2026-LGTM

5 hours ago (nesbitt.io)

That is very very funny, and oh so plausible.

I enjoyed this bit a lot from the timeline

> Karen Oyelaran finds the payload by reading the source code with her eyes and files a second issue. The triage assistant closes it as “duplicate of #8814.” Issue #8814 is a feature request for dark mode. Karen reopens it. The assistant closes it. Karen reopens it. Karen’s GitHub account is rate-limited for “patterns consistent with automated behaviour.”

And this - the final sentence is a perfect indictment of the timeline we are in.

> Two AI review agents from competing vendors, both attached to a downstream pull request bumping foxhole-lz4, enter a disagreement loop over whether the package is malicious. After 340 comments and $41,255 in inference spend, Finance revokes both API keys; one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

I'm joining the goat farming waitlist ;-)

  • Justice to Karen

    > We would like to thank:

    >> Karen Oyelaran, who found the issue on Day 1 and is currently appealing her GitHub rate limit via a web form that is also AI-triaged

  • It was funnier when i ask Ai what this was. The ai told me it was a satire about Ai, then i got it, funny.

The entire post is great, but the acknowledgements section is particularly excellent:

> Kubernetes (the dog), who was not involved in this incident but whose photo in the #incident-response channel was auto-tagged by the Slack image classifier as “container orchestration diagram (confidence: 0.31)”

  • My favorite:

    > This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen.

> Duration: 96 hours (billable: 2.1 trillion tokens)

Now there's a metric that would make my boss nervous.

> Total inference spend across all parties during the incident window was $1.7M, which Marketing has asked us to start describing as “a record investment in autonomous customer assurance.”

This is too funny.

  • I think at some point we need a different or split up currency/economy, because these values make no sense. Just consider how this inference cost 1.062.500 tomatoes ($1.6) in the physical world.

    • Except it sort of does? You're paying for the food and shelter of the people engaged in all the manual labor in the supply chain which produces the electricity, for example.

      Some of them likely eat tomatoes, so for that electricity you need to (indirectly) supply a certain number of tomatoes.

      Which is the part about "what will human labor be worth?" that gets missed in all the AI discussion: it's the only thing the economy ultimately values.

> Approximately 11% of affected hosts were still running fish as their login shell following the February incident; this had no bearing on anything but is noted here for completeness

Yeah, this one got me laughing and seems like such a heavy Claudism. The number of times I'm reading Claude's response and throwing my hands in the air like, "What the fck does that have to do with anything!?" It's the worst part of the over eagerness.

  • One of the best CLAUDE.md improvements I've made is "don't talk like a Hacker News commenter". It seems to make a huge difference.

    Yes, I recognize the irony.

(I know its a satire, but could be seen as an actual post mortem of the future incident) This report made me realize there's no place for humans, as it is right now, in the process of building software systems in the future. Reading this incident made me dizzy after few paragraphs because of the cognitive context overload and I lost track multiple times.

  • I kinda felt it was satire, but then the below quote threw me off:

    > one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

    That happens! That is not satire. So i had to visit the comments here to be sure :)

  • You're absolutely right!

    (In all seriousness it seems this is the dream of a huge number of AI pilled execs dreaming of infinite velocity at a fraction of the cost... velocity pointed where, you ask? Well stop asking or you'll be next.)

  • Great satire. The comedy of errors along the way made me realize that this could have happened also with humans instead of bots. But now it’s faster.

    • It... really couldn't? Step 3 in this fictional chain would never happen with a HITL.

      I honestly can't tell with comments like this whether folks have too much respect for AI, or to little respect for people...

      2 replies →

Great write-up.

Side note: interesting to see how many folks commenting did not get it being satire (even the title has LGTM). I guess it's time to rethink how sharp the HN folks truly are compared to the average non-tech person (not that I had any big assumptions myself).

I'm curious about this recipe for chevre :D

  • HN has a big blind spot, in my opinion, around writing that isn't "purely technical". I've seen several cases of commenter complaining about "clickbait" for a blog post that I'd describe as "having a narrative hook and structure"

  • And immediately below the title are the tags "package-managers security satire ai"

  • I read it and saw LGTM and URL and was like "probably satire" but could not rule out it being real until like 30% in.

    It's like a modern version of Poe's law.

    • Just below the title are the tags "package-managers security satire ai"

I actually know a goat rancher who is working to require ag impact studies for data centers in Texas. Sounds like I should give him a call while I can.

(Also CVE-2026-LGTM would be an awesome name for a Culture ship)

I really enjoyed the line “The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.”

Brought to you by the people who've been told repeatedly since mid 90s not to glue SQL strings together.

  • It's funny that as the most popular programming languages FINALLY got smart injection-safe SQL strings (js template literals etc), we're right back to square one with AI over the top that can't tell the difference between trusted and untrusted content. Funny and sad.

> Seven LLMs were arranged in series. Six assumed another had read the code; the seventh read it and apologised.

And this is why management assumes that one can just automate software developers.

This incident report is WILD

    The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.

If you're wondering what creats.io is - this is satire!

  • It's available for rental from the domain cartel if anyone wants to drop some $$ on making the joke just that little bit more real.

Well the part about brand-image-incompatible depictions of firefox logo apparently wasn't a satire

  • This tells you all you need to know about the "fox":

    "This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen and that the sunglasses remained on throughout."

Perhaps a [Satire] note should be added to the headline.

  • its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

    (also, CVEs are numeric only, so the "LGTM" (looks good to me) and CVE "YIKES" is also a big giveaway, on top of ~all of the text being outlandish)

    • > its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

      Not the first thing, it’s buried in the tags as grey on light grey on white.

      5 replies →

  • Yes, the Americans are waking up, we need to make it abundantly clear to avoid them misunderstanding.

  • Please don't! Getting tricked by the satire and then slowly realizing it's insane is half the fun.