Comment by Noaidi

1 day ago

I’ve attempted suicide three times. Here’s the tip I give people who I encounter these days who have a severe mental illness.

The thing that stopped me from attempting again was 15 years ago I finally realized that no one knows what happens after you die. So I couldn’t really say for sure whether they’re dying by suicide would lead me in a better situation.

15 comments

Noaidi

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acjohnson55  1 day ago

I'm really sorry you have gone through that. I have been pretty deeply depressed a couple times in past, to the point of considering suicide. What I share with people is that in those periods, it truly felt like things weren't going to get better and I was just going to be in emotional pain indefinitely.

But gradually, things got better in my life. I have had so much joy in the 20 years since. I still have bad days sometimes, but on the whole, I feel such a sense of gratitude.

I can't promise anyone that their own situation will get better. I can only say that my experience is that it is possible.

  • Noaidi  7 hours ago

    Thanks and sorry for the delay, @dang has me rate limited for reason.

    I accepted life as an adventure. A true adventure, when you say "eff it", I am gonna die anyway so why not embrace the suffering as part of it.

    For me though, it was my psychosis driving my SI. Not much rational thought going on.

karthikeyankc  18 hours ago

I'm so sorry. I'm glad you are here and are sharing this with folks like me. I lost my child, mom, and wife, all back to back in accidents. I really have lost all the will to live. Like... I have made peace with everything tbh! I did think about everything, but I couldn't do it because of dad. And then at a point we both thought about it ending it all, but eventually I found my support system with my friends. Support system + meds + therapy... are helping me keep functioning these days. Reaching out is the first step.

And I try think about this the same way about my birth. I really cannot say what it was like before... So death is kind of the same. But the 'inbetween' matters. At least it mattered in my case. For now, it helps to live just by the day and not think beyond it.

If anyone is reading this and is in a dark place please know that things can be better with the right support and help.

I guess Noaidi, me, and other folks here are proof that it all works.

  • smokedetector1  17 hours ago

    I just read your blog post and my heart is with you. Seriously. You are a strong soul. What else can be said. Nothing will make it better. We are here to suffer, for an unknown purpose. Only faith in the divine gives me hope in those moments. And I hope that one day life will make more sense

    • karthikeyankc  16 hours ago

      Thank you for taking the time and the kind words. I don't know if I'm strong, but I'm just a man trying hard to accept whatever nature throws at me. Even after losing my child and mom, I had faith in life, thanks to my wife, but I don't know what it means anymore. We're all just a big bag of weird cosmic anachronisms in this vast cold universe. The only faith I have is that we are all connected in a way and in that sense, the ones I lost are still with me.

      2 replies →

  • Noaidi  7 hours ago

    Thanks. Peace, yes, that is the key. A very radical acceptance that everything is impermanent.

    It works, for sure, and I need to be more vocal about my survival and how I did, and still do it. Thank you again, and I am glad you came out of all of that with such great insight. _/\_

netsharc  1 day ago

I guess this isn't the place for it, but from a scientific point of view, I'm quite certain what's after (i.e. I've convinced myself) ...

thinkingtoilet  1 day ago

Fuck that other person. I'm sorry you have to deal with idiots like that here.

I can't imagine what you're going through but just know that you matter and that the world is a better place with you in it. I hope you are doing better and you get the help you need.